My girlfriend had been dating for awhile (6 mos.) and I asked her to marry me. We picked out a ring and I purchased it for her. Everything was fine for about two weeks, then small arguments started turning in to big ones. The smallest of things began to upset her. I realize that I wasn't perfect. I have a lot going on in my life. (both parents very ill and possibly dying) I believe that my focus fell away from our relationship a bit. I never attempted to hurt her whatsoever. About two weeks ago I got the "we need to talk" text. I was told that she wanted to break up, and was given back the ring. We have talked since, with me trying to patch things up, to no avail. This past week I found her profile on plentyoffish.com and it says she's looking for casual dating. Her mom tells me she is confused. She is 29 with kids, I am 32 with kids. Aren't we a little old to be "confused". I apparently upset her by putting my profile up on POF and now she will not speak to me. Should I just move on, or let her date and hopefully realize that I am the one she wants. She claims that I wasn't making her happy, and when I asked about our future, she just kept saying "we'll see what happens". I don't get it. After only a month of being engaged. :(
Most Helpful Guy
Here's how I can interpret things :
- You only dated for a short period of time.
- She said yes to your proposal in the heat of the moment, but later regretted her choice, and took every little thing as an excuse to start an argument. Meaning she consciously (or not, probably) was looking for excuses to break up. Women are rarely "frontal" with that type of things. Anyway, since you participated in these arguments, that was just bring more grief to her "confusion".
- Her saying "she is confused" equals a "no". Usually a person who wants to get married will say "yes" and nothing else.
- You putting your profile online isn't helping. That's passive/aggressive behavior. Women hate that. She might have considered things for a period (since it was a big thing to do, getting married), but now she doesn't talk to you anymore, which means she is moving on.
You should move on. Because you don't have any other choice left. And take some time to analyze your reactions, because she probably isn't the only one at fault there. First among all, don't ask too soon to get married. A good time would be 1.5 - 2 years, not 6 months.0