He bails out on the same day of our date! What should I do now? (Warning: Long)

we work at the same place and he's been trying to get to know me for some time now, with flirtations, compliments, chats about his family life, problems, etc, people at work are even starting to notice his "fond" behavior towards me.

but he is like a roller coaster, either he clings to me or he does the complete opposite and shuts himself off. I realize he had a horrible past relationship with a manipulative woman but come on.

people at work tend to speak well about him, seems like he is a guy that has gone through a lot but is well natured just has some confidence issues?

i have been sincerely busy with other things to set a firm date out with him. we had intended to go out on date about two weeks ago but he didn't mention a word about it to confirm until last minute and I had made plans with some girlfriends. why does he do this?

i asked him if he was dating around and he said "he was going with the flow", which isn't a yes or a no but I'll take it as a yes. I asked him what he was looking for in me and he said he wasn't looking for anything rather just wanted to hang out and get to know me.

i told him I was gonna be busy for a while but could go out next week to which he was not content stating that I just didn't want to hang out with him. which is not true. this week, I was also busy, but had an available day Friday. I asked him if he was in and he said he was, although still kept on insisting I'd step out with him on other days, saying that he needed me by his side.

on Wednesday he texts me asking me.. "so are we still in for Friday?" I was away from my phone so I didn't see his text.. he didn't even wait 10 minutes to text me again saying "i guess not". to which I was like "hey, why are you cutting me off so early, yes, I will be there on Friday"... and he was like okay.. etc etc... insisting on me seeing him that same night. then later on when I tried to make conversation he cuts me off with a goodnight and that he cannot wait until Friday.

thanksgiving day, I wished him a good day and he did likewise.

then today (the day of the date) he texts me early in the morning tell me that his two cousins got into a physical fight and the cops were there at the moment, that he assumed he had to postpone the date and that he would talk to me later...

at first I was like ah OK, whatever... but then putting the pieces of the puzzle together and this weak excuse, I'm like maybe he couldn't see me on Friday this whole time, maybe something else better came up and I got insanely mad at told him that if he was just flaking out cos he isn't interested that he could of just been honest about it instead, that his attitude on Wednesday was odd to begin with. He hasn't bothered in answering me back.

we work together... so should I just ignore him and see if he ever speaks to me again? What about his weak family excuse to bail out?

I am kind of positive he was lying with his excuse because I have his cousin on Facebook and his cousin was playing on an app at the same time in which "the police was at his house". LOL.


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  • This is BS! He's messed up and you don't need this. He's is either really controlling and wants someone under him and doesn't care who or in what way, or he does actually like you but is is too messed up to see it through and literally gets scared if you agree to the plans and thus tries to push you away. And BTW FaceBook is the drama hub. It there were really cops over there, SOMEONE on his friend list would have been on his wall about it.

    • Thank you for your comment, dragonfly. Reading what you think just confirms my thoughts exactly that something is really odd and messed up about the way he's acting/ the way he is. Might be playing some kind of a game.