Girls: Why would she still occasionally text after this long?

We were hot and heavy for 4 months, it got serious pretty fast. She asked me after a few months after we had sex if I saw us being in a relationship. I definitely did, but we both agreed it wasn't the right time. About 6 weeks later, she began avoiding my attempts to see her. When I confronted her about it, she told me she wasn't ready for anything serious, and that she was scared. So I let her go and didn't give much of a chase even though I wanted to.

We stayed in occasional contact through texting and I never got over her. I called her a few months ago and told her how things still remind me of her and how strongly I really did feel about her. She said things also reminded her of me, it made her feel weird, but that she's in a different place now. She's with someone else now but said that we should stay in touch.

We weren't friends before the 4 month thing so I don't really see her as just a friend because our lips locked every time we saw each other. Why would she text me still and ask how I'm doing? Like, and comment on my Facebook posts?

I chat with her when she messages me, and clearly we still enjoy talking to each other but it's easier for me not to message her just because of how strongly I really did feel. :s I don't really want to ignore her messages either though, but should I?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, first, I think you shouldve given a bit of a chase. Some girls, including me, want to see if you think we are worth a little bit of extra effort. She told you she was scared so that was an open invitation to soothe her fears and offer a slow building relationship that you both could ease into since you moved a little fast at first.

    The occasional contact is normal, I think, because of how close it seems you guys were. Its not uncommon to want a connection with a person that made you feel so strongly, which might be why she wanted to keep in touch. I think you should let her know that she has other options (im not sure if you are getting into a different relationship or waiting for her.) that way, you won't have to do much filtering when you message her on fb. Don't ignore her messages because I'm hoping yall will get back together. :)

    Now don't go thinking all of this is right or so informative because every girl isn't like this. Some girls may be talking to you because you had a quality they were looking for and found lacking in their relationship. She might be comparing you to him, which would explain the texting and messaging you. She might have doubted that you wanted to be with here after those first weeks meaning that she wasn't ready as a 'ill break up with you before you breakup with me' type thing. If you suggested waiting awhile for a relationship then she might think you just liked the physical stuff. If she suggested it, she mightve wanted to see if things were deeper than sex.

    Hope I helped a bit. :)

    • I definitely should have chased her. I was insulted by her excuses not to see me. I'm not convinced it would have changed anything. It was all bad timing.

      When we spoke I told her how strongly I felt for her and I still think of her. Other than that I don't know what you mean by letting her know she has other options. The chemistry we had was amazing, but waiting for someone in a relationship is foolish especially not knowing exactly how ele feels about me. She found some1 else, and so should

    • The whole options thing is irrelevant if you are moving on with or in hopes of someone else

    • No choice to move on the way I see it. I am in hopes of finding someone else, and I am dating a some when I have time.

      I'm stubborn and have a hard time believing that I didn't mean a lot to her too. I actually told her that I wished she would just say something like "she just wasn't into me", but she wouldn't do it. I'd rather just hear that, then to still have doubts in my mind that it really was all as amazing as I thought. Rather just get a line of complete rejection.

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What Girls Said 1

  • This kind of sounds like my situation except we never had sex. But it's similar because our schedules never matched and timing wasn't always the best so I sometimes wouldn't hang out with him because of work going late or he was working early, etc. Then after a few times like that, I think he gave up and I kept trying to see him, we always tried to meet up but it never worked and eventually we just moved on and he moved away and didn't want a ldr. But we still talk and text each other and want to see each other when we are in the same town. We only occasionally text and keep in touch, but I find that I miss him a lot and that I talk to him first more than before. I know he's said he enjoys talking to me and misses talking to me and I really enjoy talking to him, we just never do that often. I guess it's just a lot of miscommunication that went on between us. I don't think you should ignore her messages, don't be too eager but still respond.


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