What's going on in his head?

I met a guy online. We've been on two dates and he's been very 'boyfriendy' with me. He texted me a lot between those two dates and kept conversations going, even while he was at work.

We've actually slept over on both occasions- not something I've ever done so quickly before. The first date it was kind of just because I missed transit home and we established sex was not going to happen. It was kissing only and he initiated cuddling all night. when we were going to sleep he told me he was really happy that I decided to stay. It threw me off actually. The second time was at my place and he actually stated that he would stay over with me as an assumption before the date. I told him he didn't have to but he ignored that part of my text. It turned out pretty much the same as the first night with a lot of mentions of wanting me to meet his best friend and hints at how well we get along.

Post second date, the texts are still there but fewer and much further between with seriously delayed responses. I went on his profile to double check some of those 'what I'm looking for' statements and noticed that he has been active (damn dating sites- you shouldn't even be able to see that). We have our 3rd date tomorrow but I really feel uneasy. Is he getting freaked out? Or playing around with me? Insights overall?

I actually quite like him :-s.

I really appreciated those answers given so thank you! An update, as suspected he cancelled (via text- this guys has yet to actually call) and when I responded nonchalantly (though I contemplated asking him straight out where he was at) he continued to text me, joking around and asking about my work, etc. No mention of rescheduling and ended up leaving me hanging with the last question asked on my end as well.

Frankly, f*** it. Not worth my time.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like you two get along pretty well. I don't think him hopping on there is necessarily cause for alarm. I won't start dating exclusively till after like the 3rd or 4th date depending how they go (who knows, maybe even longer if I'm a bit on the fence, but it doesn't sound like that's the case for him.) I don't like to tie myself down to one option so early on. I don't know her that well, even if we strike it off brilliantly the first time or two things can go south in a hurry (first hand experience on this one). So yeah, I keep it casual/options open until things have consistently been pretty great, then I'll just date her exclusively, and when the times right ask that "should I be introducing you as my girlfriend at this point?" assuming she doesn't bring it up first.

    I think the third date is critical to seeing where things are headed. I'd say don't have sex with him until you two are a couple. But that's just if you want him to respect you as a serious long term option. I know guys might say "I'll still respect her even if she puts out on the third.. blah blah blah" full of crap. They say that because they don't want to blow the chance at an easy hook up by stating they have two different standards. One for women they will sleep with and one for a long term love interest. The kind of girl you'd think about settling down for. If she's putting out on the third date, unless she's dating impaired or something, she's probably had more than a few partners which will make some guys question whether you have some sort of commitment issue or something. Not saying you do, but impressions are everything.

    If you like the guy, take things slow. All you've got is time, especially if he's the right guy for you. We have the desire to rush into things, talk to our crush constantly, etc. and for what? Some instant gratification, that emotional rush. Thing is though, that rush can burn things out before they even begin because it didn't develop right. So just take your time, there's no rush.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Worrying about this while you have a date coming up is pointless. Go out with him tomorrow and see if everything is fine. Don't go expecting it to be, then it has a larger possibility of going wrong. Just be yourself and it will either work out or not. If it doesn't then it probably shouldn't have, it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you.


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