How should I deal with this situation?

Lately my husband has been calling and texting this other woman and flirting with her and having phone sex with her and they would be calling each other honey etc. I also saw in one of his text messages that he said l love you to and he knows that I know he's been talking to her. They've been talking to each other for over a little over a month. A few weeks ago when I was on my husband's Facebook page she got online and try to say to him, so I logged out of his page and got on mine and sent her a message saying "Hello! This is amanda adams (charles's wife). I just wanted to let you know that it was me a minute ago on charles' page." Then she said that she was just trying to say hey and that she was sorry. Then I told her " Oh that's OK, there's nothing wrong with just saying hello, lol." Then right after that she texts my husband and puts words in my mouth by telling him I was asking her all kinds of questions about what her and husband has been talking about and how long they've been talking, etc. But my husband calls me and tells me this and he was snapping my head off for it and I had told him I never asked her any questions and that I was only nice and I told him what I said to her on my page and not his. Then he says that it's a bunch of bulll because she had just told him this and that (was trying to call me a liar). It seemed like he was trying to her side and not mine. But the only reason I said what I said to her was because I didn't want her to think that my husband was ignoring her and that it was me and not him.My husband also brung up the divorce subject by saying that if I didn't have a job by the end of spring that we were getting a divorce. But every time we get into a major argument he brings up the divorce subject, But after he called to chew me out he didn't call me for two days and when he did call me again he said he would let me change his phone number so that she and the other girls wouldn't be calling and texting him anymore. But he never took the time to let me do it and he stills texts and calls them especially that one woman, The day after Thanksgiving I looked at his recent calls and it said that she called him 30 times just recently and he called her 17 times. What do you think I should do, should I say something to her which would start a world war 3 between us, or should I just keep my eyes and ears open and just let sit back let everything take its course?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Please let me start of by saying...I apologize for the words that are about to come out of my mouth...but

    I am completely baffled here!@!

    Your husband is having a relationship with another woman in plain sight...and you had to defend yourself against the other woman?!?


    This is NOT NORMAL! There is nothing for you to say to the other woman!

    "What do you think I should do, should I say something to her which would start a world war 3 between us, or should I just keep my eyes and ears open and just let sit back let everything take its course?"

    Should you just sit back and let everything take it course? You need more proof or phone sex? Do you need her to call 300 times instead of 30? The phone sex wasn't enough of a sign?! He's having an affair! The woman comes online tries to say and you go and tell her hey...that was me! Just wanted to let you know! :-) Am I missing something here?!

    Now I've only heard your side of the story so I should normally hold my tongue, but this situation just stinks to hell!

    Either you have been emotionally battered or you are the most naive woman on the planet because you are essentially defending yourself against your husband having an affair...because that's what he's having!

    Do you think you DESERVE this disrespect? Because your thought process says you do. Unless you guys agreed to an open relationship this is one bazar crazy case where you as the wife...has become the OTHER WOMAN. He was chewing your head off for the other woman! That doesn't strike you as odd?

    He's threatening YOU with divorce! Obviously there are some serious mind games going on over there and he's got you by the throat. You're like a helpless little lamb that really doesn't realize you've married the Wolf, and he's one selfish, evil bastard. If you don't get a job? Throwing divorce threats around, phone sex with women!

    GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE and get some help!

    There is no situation to deal with. I often have great advice for getting a relationship back on track and communicating and such, but this...this is beyond advice. There is nothing to try to do or fix here. Your husband is a douche bag and you've allowed him to get away with it.

    You should be threatening HIM with a divorce. Unless you want to make your marriage an OPEN one, this simply isn't going to work.

    Either you put up with his sh*t and take his cheating ways or you get the hell out! Point blank, period.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Simply leave him. You can do better and you know it is over


What Girls Said 3

  • If you know he's having phone sex and they are saying I love you he's cheating on you and he yelled at you because he got on the defense cause he got caught. You should be confronting him. He emotionally invested in this other woman. If he already knows you know why are you putting up with it?

  • WTF! I'm speechless right now! Why are you still there if you know for certain that this crap is going on? He is cheating on you and how dare he confront you (his wife) because of something the jump-off said?! And he continues to throw up divorce and now he says get a job or it's over. WOW, what kind of man is he? Do you want to continue a relationship with this man? No, don't say anything to her, she doesn't owe you anything, you're married to him! What do you mean what should you do?! He is obviously gonna keep talking to this woman, are you okay with that?

  • Get a DIVORCE.

    Obviously he is yearning for one.

    If you stay in this,you are continuing to give him permission to disrespect you.