Confused over what happened and why? Please help guys!

I was dating this guy, causally not exclusive. However, he brought it up that he wanted to continue seeing each other, then the next day by noon he had changed his mind, cut off all communication. As in absolutely none what so ever! I am really into this guy! I am totally heartbroken and not sure what happened or if I can do anything about it. Help! Some advice from guys please!

Details here. We had only had a few dates but had been talking for some time. Our second date was when this conversation took place about continuing to see each other though not exclusive. That night he shared very personal things that I would never share with someone that I wasn't planning on seeing or speaking to again. I mean very personal things that guys had never shared with me before that I wasn't in a serious relationship with, those type of things. He commented about how amazing and beautiful I was and that I had everything going for me, a beautiful home, a great career and business, that he thought my life was in order. Well, appearances can be deceiving but it is for the most part in order. Things did get a little out of control as we were making out, and moved forward. He had performance issues, I tried to tell him not to worry it was probably just to soon for us, but he said he was nervous. But that is as far as the explanation went. He is a guy in his early 40s, I am late 30s. When he left that night, everything was left as being great. He asked to text him the next day etc. I text him the next morning, seemed fine but not very talkative. Then by noon, he sent a text saying that we were never going to happen again, never ever! I haven't heard from him since, he said I wouldn't! I don't understand what I did wrong. Why would he lead me to believe that we were going to continue on dating then just stop talking all together. I don't understand what I did wrong! This has broken my heart, I really thought he was an amazing guy, very genuine, a great person. Is there any hope at all?


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  • Forget him and move on. If he contacts you again, let him know how much he hurt you and be firm about re-earning trust before you let him back in.

    It really sounds like the sex thing is what caused him to change him mind, but you'd be better having a guy explain that to you...

    • Dragonfly, if its the sex thing, that wasn't my fault. He had the issue not me. It wasn't that he wasn't stimulated, he was just couldn't maintain it. I just don't understand why that changed things for us so fast. Is he ashamed? He did make the comment that he felt like a failure. But I told him that wasn't the case, and he shouldn't feel that way. And I understood. I did my best to help him get past it without feeling bad about it. What else could I have done

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    • There's really nothing you can do. No one but himself and time can change how he feels about what happened.

    • I have considered that. Its just I am a very attractive woman, work out daily. And without getting to vulgar, he was able to enter and maintain for a few pumps so to speak. This has never happened with me before with other men. NEVER! I just can't believe this is the issue when we were so great together, I can't get over him. I have been asked out many times since and just can't see myself with anyone else :( If that is the case, he will never come back.

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