Has ANYONE ever felt this way about their single status?

I wanna see if anyone else feels the same or could even explain these feelings:

I meet guys a lot but all the pieces never fit together. I can't find all I want in a guy..something is always missing. I'm not looking for perfection either. So I've gotten to the point where I just go with it, meaning I'll date a guy I'm not THAT into with NO intention of him being my boyfriend hoping that in the mean time someone I like better comes along. Dating a guy I'm not THAT into makes me feel bad..sometimes, like I'm cheating myself .I've dated guys (IN THE PAST) where the butterflies came in the stomach and the smile was so heartfelt, but as of lately..that feeling isn't there and can't come with a guy I'm not that into, no matter how hard I try and the thing is he is actually a sweet person I just can't like him in that way even though I'm trying.

So my questions are:

1. Can anyone relate to what I'm feeling? [Basically, just being single for a while now..kinda giving up hope of ever finding the right guy & settling for guys I'm not that into]

2. Is it my fault?(because sometimes I think I should just settle for less to break my single status) OR should I keep dating around until I meet the right guy?

Please feel free to share your story if you have similar feelings about being single. I want to hear from others too.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah I totally get you! Usually the way I say it is dating to date vs dating to date the guy

    There are so many guys that they're nice, they're cute but we just don't click

    But I'll go out with them for a little while because its like nice to be with someone for a little while but I know it's not going to go very far with them

    Sigh when your at that point it always really sucks /:

    No it's not your fault, as for looks I'm pretty accepting all I want is someone I can really get along with and I don't think that's too much to ask for lol

    I say, why not just have fun with some people while you're waiting to meet the one (: I mean it's likely the one prob won't be waiting around either and also it gets lonely lol

    But, it sounds like you're dating guys you have no interest at all in, if that's true then I'd advise against it because you're leading them on and you'll eventually have to break their hearts

    Bt if you have some interest, you just don't really click then go for it! Who knows, maybe you'll find out you guys really do click (:


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 7

  • Do not date guys you are "not that into." You will be indirectly leading them on and then when you just walk off from them they'll be let down.

    Personally, when I meet people I'm "not that into." They can be friends at most and guess what happens? We text for a bit then fade off. I don't do all the stuff I would do for a potential girlfriend like go out to dinner and all that stuff. They get no priority with me if we don't have a common interest. I've been single for quite some time and it's because of the girls I have dated around with not knowing what they want, dating multiple guys at once, constant going out then they cut contact with no explanation, and so on. It's quite the nuisance.

    Don't aimlessly date around with someone you can't at least be friends with. You risk hurting yourself or your date or even both. If you don't see potential, move on.

  • Well Madam, you see, I have felt lonely before and have wanted someone in my life but, I would not date someone who I have not interest in what so ever. I still have not found someone that is someone I like, but you should not date guys and hope something better comes along as they might feel they were used. Being single is not bad, love is something you can't look for or force, love is something that finds you and grabs onto and won't let you go, it sweeps you off your feet and treats you like the only one who matters. Never give up hope, ever, if you give up hope you have broke and you can not brake. I'm sure a young woman such as your self will find someone great for you. If your looking for the right guy and you think you have found a Gentlemen with a great personality and everything you want, then you have found love. I wish you the best of luck and am sorry to hear of your problem but always remember there is someone out there, looking for you, and one day you will meet him.



    • Kind of cliche, but well put and I kind of agree with some of those points. +1

    • Thank you, just my opinion and a lot of truth and observation.

  • Yeah, I've been single for years too. It used to stress me out... a lot. But to answer your questions;

    1) Yeah, I've been there, done that, and still am in that. Don't give up hope, just have faith the right one will come around. Like I said, I've been single for years and thought about changing just so I could break my single status too, but I didn't.

    2) Like I kind of said before, there ain't no sense in settling for someone who doesn't make you have those warm and fuzzies inside. It just won't be the same, and you'll end up hating it (I would think). There is plenty of time for the right person to come along, just be patient and let it happen. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like relationships can't be forced, they just have to happen.

    So no, don't stress about it, just keep looking and you'll eventually find the perfect one. Aaaaaand you'll be a lot happier than you would have if you settled for less than what makes you happy.

  • Being single for years has strssed me out. People will always tell you not settle or lower your standards. But my lonelyness has gotten so bad I'm considering it. Its not the end of the world if your first relationship isn't that great. Lots of people go through many before they find Mr or Mrs right. So don't put so much emphasis on finding the perfect one when your young. Just get out there and have fun.

  • The basic problem of having high standards is that whilst you can strive for personal perfection, you can't enforce your standards onto others. What's more sometimes your own standards of evaluating people can be way off. Someone you think is hopeless in life may turn out great, it's just that you weren't able to appreciate them.

    I think you would be a lot happier if you appreciated guys based on who they are, not who you want them to be. It's not the same as settling, it's getting the most out of your life. Some people I've been madly infatuated with turned out to be big disappointments, whilst others not high on my list turned out to really compliment me. You just need to put dating into perspective - what do you want in life, and how can relationships make it work? Not the other way around.

  • I've been single for years but almost everyone I know thinks I'm a player because they don't believe I haven't dated anyone in 2 years.


What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds like you have really high standards. You will never truly find the right person for yourself, however there are people who are damn close to your expectations. Continue dating guys until you find the right one, or one you like. You may have to settle for less than your dream, but you might find that you like this person- don't hang a guy out to dry just because he isn't perfect. If there's a connection go for it.

    Secondly it sounds an awful lot like you are leading guys on. I personally would advise against doing this. If you are dating someone I'd recommend doing it because you want to eventually go out with them or have an idea that you might do that. Don't lead a guy into thinking he can go out with you if you are only going to turn around and deny him.

  • ugh same... in high school I was so much more happy and its like I brought out the best in guys and made the relationship complete, now I automatically think things will fail and I also think things about the guys too, about his past, what's he hiding and its always negative, I guess I just don't trust anymore, I am trying to just work on myself for now... I think this is part of growing up, I am more protective of my heart, but I will know when I meet the right guy, he will be worth the wait and the pain I have to go through to get there..

  • I tried that. I tried dating someone I thought that I really liked in college, but the emotional feeling wasn't really there because we didn't have good conversations. Looking back, I wish I hadn't bothered with him because I miss someone I didn't truly like that much in the first place. Then, right after him, I very briefly dated someone with whom I had an emotional connection, but I wasn't at all physically attracted to him. So you see, it's not just you. Everyone struggles with finding the right person.

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