I am going to have to initiate the conversation every time?

There is a guy I used to work with who is a total goofball. Not my type physically but his personality and sense of humor are so attractive to me. When he is around me he is somewhat shy. He only wants to talk to me when we are alone. So maybe it’s just that he is shy to show interest in someone? Anyways, we both have this unspoken interest in each other. I’ve texted him a few times and we talk until the end of the day and end with a goodnight text and then the next day… nothing. And I honestly feel like he could last weeks without texting me. But I feel like the amount we texted each other the day before, he should want to text me again the next day. We talk about basically everything and when I do text first he is always really eager to text back, he’s very involved in the conversation, always asking questions and giving long replies. But he has only ever texted me first once.

I asked a mutual friend about him because I am getting such mixed signals. Our friend said that he is definitely interested in me… but if this is true, wouldn’t he be trying harder to get to know me? Am I going to have to keep initiating everything to get this to go anywhere?


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What Guys Said 2

  • If you feel like you would have to initiate always, that's a red flag.

  • Unspoken interest is not obvious interest.

    Try giving him more direct and obvious signs of interest. If he is shy with you, then you're going to have to continue taking the initiative.

    Shy guys are usually the respondents in the initial stages. Initiating is something that comes after comfort for them, so expect more of the same until he does.


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