My boyfriend and I just recently broke up on Saturday the 15th and I need some advice asap

I am 19 and my ex is also 19 but I'm a few months older. We have dated for a year and a month before the break up and everything was beautiful in the beginning but ever since he started dorming he changed completely. He would no longer text or call me as frequent as he did before dorming and he started lying and keeping things from me. On Wednesday before the breakup I found a picture of a conversation he had with a girl in where she tells him that she likes him and doesn't know if he's single. I got very mad and questioned him about it and he said that she came out of nowhere and told him that but that he told her immediately that he had a girlfriend and that they even had a conversation outside and he told her there too and that he deleted her number. I believed him but I had my doubts which ended up with an argument about me not trusting him and how he would never cheat on me. Something in me still didn't seem right so that night I went ahead and Facebook messaged her even though he said not to. There the girl told me that I didn't have the full story and that he told her he liked her first then she went ahead and told him. The next day I confronted him and he told me he cheated on me at a frat party and he was drunk so he danced inappropriately with her and she kissed him too. She then asked to go to his dorm an he agreed and that there he thinks he told her he had a girlfriend but he didn't remember but that he was supposably sure they did nothing together in his dorm cause he fell asleep and she slept in his spare bed even though she dorms there too and could have gone to her own dorm but he said he thinks she was too drunk to walk. Now after I heard this I was destroyed but I was willing to give him another chance and he took it at first but the next day I went over to talk and asked him to tell him what really went on in his dorm and that I was going to ask her later to see if it was the truth and that's when he said he didn't deserve a second chance that he couldn't live with himself knowing what he did cause he thought he would never do it yet he did and that he didn't want to be the reason why I was always crying and he didn't want to hurt me and he wanted to make me happy and that I wouldn't be if I stayed by his side. I begged him and begged him to at least try cause we loved each other and we cried together but he would not change his answer. We still text each other and I feel like he has gotten over it with just 3 days that went by. I'm beyond destroyed and I cry and think of him everyday nonstop. Why is it that I don't feel as though he misses me like I do? He goes to the gym and eats while I'm stuck in this bed crying and I can't eat and Haven't for 5 days now. He doesn't text me as often like he did yeterday ever since he found out that I lied when I said I knew eveything when in reality I didn't I just knew he said he liked her. I feel so broken and I don't knw what to think of all of this. Can you as a guy give me some input on all of this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • People have different ways of grieving and men have a tendency to grieve more over a broken relationship later after they realize what is gone, once the fact has truly sunk in. I'm not taking sides, but you are both in the wrong if everything happened the way you said it did. I applaude you for trying to fight for it but you two didn't seem to trust each other or yourselves. Without this trust, the relationship was doomed so it's probably best that it ended the way it did. Yea it sucks and it'll hurt for a while, but you can't over think itand just let time heal your wounds. Stay tough and good luck.

    • Yes I understand we were both at fault and maybe its because it was both our first serious relationship and that we are both young and immature. But I feel in my gut that we are truly meant to be but he doesn't quite see that yet. I can wait for him for so long before I get tired and more on, I mean I'm not the prettiest of the bunch but I know that someone will like me someday and that's what I'm scared of cause that would mean me totaly losing him and falling for someone new when all I want is him

    • The first serious relationship is easy to be blinded by feelings. You say he's the only one for you now, but time will allow you to move on and you'll see it is probably for the best.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like a d***, Forget bout him find someone better.

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