How to know if a guy is serious about a girl?

I met this guy 2 months ago. He approached me in a restaurant and asked me for a date. I'm quite good-looking so I get approached a lot, and he's good-looking too. We are both mid 20's. Usually I stay away from good-looking guys, because I know they are no relationship material, but this guy make me kind of nervous.

So we went on 3-4 dates, just going out to eat and talk. After our 4th date he kissed me. A week later he asked me if he might come to my house for 2 hours and I agreed. After he arrived he immediately started kissing me and it was like he was trying to lay me. lol But I refused and said I don't want to sleep with him, because I realized I really don't know much about him. He agreed and so we talked a lot and then he left.

He is texting me very often, but it's always the same stuff like "how are you? I'm doing this and that..." It's nothing personal. So 3 days ago we met again. He wanted to come to my house but I refused and said, let's go out and eat something. It was kind of strange, because we didn't meet for 2 weeks and he immediately behaved like we were a couple now. Not that I think it's bad, but his behavior is often not appropriate for the current situation.

To make a long story short, here is what makes me reluctant to go a step further with him:

1. He's often just texting me and it's often like standard text.

2. He's lying about what he is doing. He tells me he is going to X tomorrow so he has no time, but later he forgot what he told me and says he was at Y. Like he forgot the lie he was telling me before.

3. He going to sport a lot and has a LOT of Christmas partys going on.

4. He's going out every weekend to parties even though he told me he has a stressful project going on which has to be finished in 2 months.

5. I'm pretty sure we talked about funny things people post on Facebook, but later he told me he has no fb account. Then he told me he has an fb account, but does not use it.

6. Sometimes he talks bad about women. Like women had some exceptional advances in his eyes and he doesn't like it.

7. At the beginning he talked about sex most of the time. Later he told me that guys who are just after sex are like animals.

So I'm kind of worried that he is some kind of PUA or something like this. I'm pretty sure there are other girls or a girlfriend he tries to hide. But, what the hell is going on? If he just wanted to have sex with me, he wouldn't date me for such a long time or would he? He's kind of good-looking and can have a lot of girls I'm sure. But I don't want to be one of these girls, so I'm still cautious and refused to have sex with him so far. Just don't want to be a kind of trophy or something.

Sometimes I'm kind of impolite and he behaves like normal, is always nice and funny. Does not make sense to me. But I don't want to wrong him! I like him, but I still don't know him. So I don't know what to think about him. :/

Any advice is highly appreciated.

Thank you!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Here's the red flags:

    1. He's hot. Yes, hotter guys usually can command play from multiple girls at will and rarely want to get into a relationship. If he can get seven p****** for seven nights of hte week, why would he settle for just your's?

    2. He's lying. You said so yourself. Do you want a relationship with a liar?

    3. He's continually tried to meet up in isolated places, which is always a prelude to sex. Duh!

    4. He's constantly going to parties, where it is a given that other girls are going to be there. Understand that his looks will draw in additional girls. Sounds like a player.

    5. He talks mostly about sex and doesn't seem to be interested in you as a person.

    My verdict? Drop it with him. Really hot guys that lead a party lifestyle aren't interested in monogamy. Find yourself a guy who is cute, if less than hot, who actually wants you for more than one night. Good luck, but if you go any further with this guy, I doubt it will last more than a few months, given that he's got plenty of other female options in his harem.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • i think that both you guys are doubting it..i think both you need to let go..if no sex then give him something to know he is in the right lane. cause my girlfriend is just like she always has things to do never wants to be bored she parties a lot but that kills the clingy factor having stuff to do :) we are mid 20's to but talking helps a lot if you have a question then ask him show no fear cause of his looks cause this is your life he is a real relationship there's all sort of communication,arguing,teasing. you have to stand up and state your terms if you want him or will want him cause guys are always weird when they like a girl and no amount of advice is gonna help cause girls and guys are different that is just that..ask questions that's how my girl got me cause I'm a fire cracker I get attention all the time but not the kind she gave me :)

  • This guy is almost a player but not really, other wise he would have laid you and you'd be on here talking about that, this guy is a wannabe player and straight up tell him you are looking for a long term relationship whether you are or not to see what his reaction is, if its a good reaction, then he's not trying to lay you. then decide what you want and worktowards that.

  • This guy definitely is not that into you. Guys love chases. That's why I always recommend to women to not give up too much too soon. Guys get extremely bored very easily. We are programmed that way. women have to always keep it interested. Nothing annoys a guy more than when a girl ignores them explicitly.


What Girls Said 1

  • the lying is a huge red flag I dated a guy who did this and it was all big trouble, I advise to stay away

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