Is it because it makes the rejection you are expecting easier?
I've had guys that I've met online and guys that I haven't met yet but just talked to on the phone TEXT me and ask me out several times lately. This is all new. My feeling is that if a guy doesn't want to talk to me and can't give me a phone call to set up a time to meet, he's not the kind of take charge guy I'm going to respect anyway. I have not yet returned any of the 3 texts I got from 3 different guys, 2 I have met before and one trying to meet for the first time.
What to say or do with these texts? One of the guys I went out with once. He lives far away, so despite a few attempts to get together, didn't stay in touch. Then out of the blue on the HOLIDAYS he wants to get together?
Do I take these as insults or is this how it is these days? Just so you all know, it sends the message that you are putting in the MINIMUM effort to get a girl's attention. So far, my reaction is to igore them completely. I think if a guy really likes a girl, he will put in some effort to win a date with her. I am used to a guy trying a LOT harder, especially in the beginning.
What say ye?
- Ignore the textsVote A
- Respond days later with an, "I didn't see this till now. Sorry. Next time please call."Vote B
I want a guy who is considerate of another person, and doesn't make decisions based on his OWN COMFORT ONLY. I will wait for a man who shows courtesy and consideration.
Most Helpful Guy
Personally, I do not wait, I ask women I like out immediately in person when I see them. However, I do understand why the vast majority of people rely on texting to gauge interest.
When I text you instead of calling you, I am being chivalrous and considerate. I am giving you a chance to think and make the correct decision.
If I called and asked you out, you would have a fraction of a second to answer. It is not always that you are so sure of me or how you feel about us going out. Sometimes it is a surprise and a woman has to think about it a little bit. Most often than not, a woman will not answer for this exact reason. It is even worse when I ask you in person. More pressure on you.
Texting works better than other forms of writing -Email, letters, cards- and leaving phone messages because text arrives instantly to your cell phone. At these times, most of us carry our cell phones or keep them nearby at all times. It is almost guaranteed that you will receive my invitation on time.
Texting is a little bit impersonal, yes. But it is reliable. Not to mention that it is polite, fair and considerate to give you time to respond in the way you prefer and are comfortable with.
If you are a decent and warm-hearted woman, rejecting someone is an unpleasant experience, especially if this man is a good and nice one. Texting is by far the easiest and gentlest way I know to let me down. Hence, it is less pressure for me and more control for you.
And yes. It is how things are working on the dating scene these days. Good or bad, it is up to you to decide according to your background and how your grew up. But you cannot misjudge men for being disinterested, weak, lazy or cowardly just because you find texting unusual or unconventional.
I wish you all the best on the dating scene and the journey to find your other half.6
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