Is she not THAT into me?

I am in a relationship with a 28yr old woman and the chemistry seems amazing.)dating nearly 2 months, yes we are exlclusive)

This past weekend we discussed who pays for what on dates and she told me it is important for her that the guy pays, that a true gentleman takes care of his woman. Naturally I had an issue with it at first, but we discussed it and in the whole scope of a relationship, the restaurant date thing may be the guys 'give' while she will give in other (not necessarily sexual) areas of the relationship.

This may set the framework for her idea of a relationship, that, and my issue. It seems as though I am the one who initiates dates and comes up with plans, I would also like to be pursued. She has FB and linkedin but won't add me and skirts around the topic when I bring it up because only her very dear and personal friends are on there...(we are going on a trip together in a week, and sleep together, thought WE were close)

I have also admitted my faults to her too early I think like I can be a bit more feminine than mos dudes etc...and now I feel so horrible for 'going there' as I need to be 'the leader'...

She did admit to me however that she keeps wanting to tell me she loves me but is holding back because she is not 100% certain that is what it is, (It meant a lot to me for her to pen up like that, must've been scary)

My question? How do I maintain the balance of pursuer vs pursuee...gentleman but not a doormat...sensitive guy but not a wimp, (I'm not your typical rough and tough dude, that's just not me)

ugh, any help would be greatly appreciated, I just want to know if she's as into this as I am. Thank you for your help


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • She won't add you on fb because that's too personal? I don't know if that's like an older people thing her just being overly cautious but its fb... She should be able to add you if she is already wanting to say I love you.


What Guys Said 1

  • First, stop wondering about whether or not she is in to this as much as you. That's a feminine concern.

    You fretting about it won't affect the result in any way, so stop fretting. The only thing you can control is your half of the relationship.

    Second, budget what you can spend on a date, and make sure you don't make a false equivalence between how much you spend and how serious the relationship is. Don't think that if you spend more, you'll get more out of it. If you're going to be the guy, you should be able to lead her on an inexpensive romantic date just as easily as a well-to-do one. Picnic in the park, can mean a lot, if you've prepared all the food yourself, for example.

    Third, stop worrying about Facebook statuses and what not. Again, that's a very feminine thing. Be sure of yourself, and that's enough for you.

    And lastly, make sure you have time for yourself and your friends in your life. Don't be afraid to say No to her. Don't make her the centre of your life.

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