How do I tell someone I'm dating her ex?

ok so I've known this guy for a decade or so. we never really hung out til about 5 years ago. I was in a relationship at the time, and he actually ended up dating one of my best friends for like a month. they split on fairly good terms, she had a lot of drama going on and he ended up moving away for awhile. he moved back a few months ago and he and I started hanging out again. he admitted after a few weeks that he'd been interested in me before he started dating her, but since I was in a relationship figured it was pointless.

when we started hanging out a few months ago it was a strictly friends thing. but the more time we spent together the more obvious it was we had feelings for each other. we officially became a couple a month ago.

normally I don't even consider dating someone whose been involved with one of my friends. saves on drama. but this caught me completely unaware, and since I haven't seen her in awhile I never had a chance to discuss it with her, or warn her or anything.

thing is, she's got some pretty serious emotional issues. and I know she doesn't still have feelings for him but I know her well enough to know she's gonna make a huge deal about it. so what's the best way to break it to her gently. he and I have spoken about it a few times, and he knows exactly why I haven't come clean. truth is he keeps wanting to make it "Facebook official" but is as concerned as I am about how she'll react.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You should go see her together, two against one, and settle it face-to-face. She's much less likely to try to guilt trip you if you are together with him. She won't attack him, probably, in the way she would attack you, so his being there will keep her under control.

    And if she makes a stink, at least there will be two of you to try to calm her down, or tape her mouth shut, whatever is necessary!


What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly, she most likely won't wanna be your friend anymore once she finds out so it really doesn't matter. One of the biggest betrayals is to date a friends friend at that. It doesn't matter if she is over him or not. So you could do it to her face alone, together, through a text, or fb but in the end it will have the same result. So just pick one.