How can I attract a guy in real life?

I'm a little overweight (about 20 lbs) but I can't get a date to save my life which is in the real world and not online!

I dress well for my body type, and put on makeup not too much but a little to enhance my features, and I straighten my long hair.

I'm very inexperienced, never kissed, or dated and I'm in my early 20's.


I hate online dating so much when you meet up its super awkward and I can't form a connection.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Learn to approach guys, dress to accentuate your curves (you have some, if you're 20lbs overweight), get a sense of humour especially a bawdy one, but don't be crude or vulgar (no using the c-word).

    Learn to make guys laugh, and be ready to laugh at their jokes - make yourself fun to be around, flirt with guys, let the guys know you're a sexual lady, even though you're inexperienced never let on that you're inexperienced.

    It's sad but true that guys will date a girl who they think they can get sex from, and will ignore a girl who is utterly innocent and likely to stay that way.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Being overweight isn't a problem, at least for me. I don't think its a good idea to change yourself. It'll gain you nothing more than a jerk.

    But if you want to know guys are most attracted to girls with positive attitude and a cute personality. Showing off your womanly curves, making eye contacts (not vulgar) might also work but don't ever be easy. More you are out me reach, more you are wanted. Do something or go to places where you can meet new people. Be confident and if your weight is bugging you, manage it.

    All the very best. :)

  • Have you tried approaching guys?

    Or at the very least tried giving guy's signs that you like them? You know giving them eye contact and smiling at them.

    For some guys, they often need to like reasonably know that a girl is interested in them before they approach.

    Also you could try putting yourself in situations where the opportunities of meeting guys will increase.

    I.E Joining a club. Doing a sport/hobby.

    Would ideally be better doing something you're interested in.

    • Yeah I've approached them a couple of times. A few times I've been rejected like they didn't respond to my texts/or acted rude towards me for no reason.. and at this pt. I didn't even make any 'moves' on them. And the others friend zoned me. And I joined a gazillion clubs in school.. all friend-zoned me.


    • Show All
    • Yeah I have to befriend them otherwise I'm nervous as hell. I've been rejected so much in the past but I keep trying! I don't know how to intially just start flirting with them because then they'll think all I want is sex, but I don't...well at least not right off the bat;) lol

    • Haha :P

      Some guys might actually like that thought xD... but I don't think you want to attract those types xD

      Ehh, with the flirting, I've seen/heard some girls do some form of like eye contact and a smile.

      For instance, I've heard of something like looking at the guy till he catches you looking at him and then looking away and then quickly like looking back and then smiling. Some girls just give eye contact.

      Maybe you can try that and see how it works for you. Best of luck.

What Girls Said 2

  • I'd say join a dance class or something. I take dance classes, and they are so much fun! and they not only help you to be fit, but they help you to be more comfortable with your body. It could be that you are sending off an insecure vibe because of your weight, and a dance class, or a different fun, exercise class could help with both of those problems. As for meeting guys, hang out in heavily populated areas, or join some clubs that interest you. It could be even that there will be a guy in your dance class! I'm taking an aerobic hip hop class, and there's a pretty cute guy in there... and I'm also taking a Barre exercise class (basically ballet combined with Pilates) and there's a cute guy in there too.

    • I do take zumba at the gym but majority of the people in it are female, maybe like one or 2 guys and their not in my age/race category. I'm trying to loose weight because sometimes because of the weight I'm at I don't think a cute amazing guy would ever want me lol and even if I lower my standards those guys still don't want me/I don't want them.

      What other types of clubs outside of school could I join?

    • it depends on your interests/hobbies. Do some research and find out what types of things are done in your area. Sometimes there are social dance classes that don't require a partner. Basically, you show up alone, and get to dance with a bunch of different guys. It's a great way to meet people, and often times they are free. You may hang around theaters or art museums if you're the artsy type, or see if the library has anything going on, like a writing club or something.

    • the main thing will be to boost you're confidence level. Weight doesn't always turn guys off... (ever seen Hairspray? lol) Dance class doesn't just help you to lose weight, but it helps you get more comfortable in your own skin. The attractiveness doesn't come from the size, it's an aura you give off.

  • Lose the weight, although I don't think that's what is preventing you from dating. It just sounds from the tone of the question you have a problem with it, so you might have some insecurities from it. So if you lose it, you might be a bit more confident and you'll feel more attractive. Twenty pounds overweight isn't that big of a deal. I know plenty of girls who are bigger but have no problem dating.

    In my experience, as long as you have a cute face, you're confident and have a good personality you should be fine.

    Take me for example. I am not overweight, but I have the most hideous face ever so guys don't want me. People like my personality though. I've heard people say behind my back that it's too bad that I am so ugly, because I would make a great girlfriend. Which sucks. I didn't choose my face. I don't let people know that having an ugly face bothers me. People see me as this confident happy go lucky girl. They say I always have a smile on my face.

    I know it's because I have the ugliest face in the world that I am still single. I get rejected all the time by guys who like other then my face.

    So I think as long as your face is cute, you are fine.

    • Being single and rejected by someone makes your face the ugliest? I don't agree, you said you keep a smile on your face and are confident. Its more than just attractive. I don't find a girl attractive if she's wearing 2.5 kg of makeup and have a brain of less than 2.5 g. Personality depends on how we perceive ourselves not what others think or do.

    • I've heard people say it. I've been hearing it since I was 12. And the most make up I wear is eyeliner because I have big brown eyes. And sometimes pink lip gloss. People tell me my face is ugly all time. One time I smiled at a guy who my friend said was staring at me, so I was going to say hi because I was excited. He said: "Ew no, not you, you're ugly."

      I'm single and rejected because of my face. I would never think I was ugly if people didn't keep telling me that.