Should I give him time and if so how much?

I've been seeing a guy for about 6 months now. We dated for the first 2 months. Things were great. We spent a lot of time together. I have 2 kids and have split custody so when I didn't have them I would spend pretty much that whole week with him. My ex found out who he was and started harassing him a little but he told me it didn't bug him. In the days leading up to the break-up he became distant. My ex sent him another fbook message saying some stuff. I confronted him and said that things seemed off and such. The next day he sent me a text saying that he wasn't ready for a relationship anymore and that he was sorry if he hurt me. I'm not sure exactly what his reasons were but I took it the best I could and said I understood and left it at that. Two days later he texted me that he missed me. The next day again that he wanted to see me. So I did. We both agreed to keep just seeing each other and not make it official. We did just that but slowly it started getting less and less. We did it for the last 4 months. I started feeling like just a booty call. He would only text me when he wanted it. After the last time I seen him he left out of town for a week and during that week I didn't contact him but he did. He would just text me and ask what I was up to. One night I had a few missed calls from him while he was there. When he got back I asked him to come see me and he didn't. A few days later I went out. Hung out with new guys for once. The next day I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. That I needed it to be done and that he shouldn't call me or text me anymore. He said that it was just as much my doing pretty much and that if I didn't party so much(idont) in time things could have been different and that I'm the one who hangs out with random people with my legs wide open. He had obviously seen that I went out so I told him I just needed to move on cause I want more and he said that maybe we should be dating I said goodbye and he said let's go on a date. I tried to make him see that I was done. He said he just needs time and that we could compromise. So it was that I wouldn't do it anymore without the possibility of him being with me somewhere down the road. He said of course there was a possibility he just doesn't want to until he feels ready to commit. So should I give him time? Knowing what you know


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What Guys Said 2

  • I'd say he was threatened by the presence of your ex in his and your life. That initial threatened feeling led to ambivalent and insecure feelings. You should give him space and time and make him pursue you (the right way) to show that his feelings for you are more than just fleeting or physical

    But in general going forward you need to keep your ex away from your boyfriends unless he can handle himself appropriately. It is hard for people to date people with children and who are divorced, through in occassional threats from the ex and it makes the situation darn near impossible. Keep your ex away from your dates otherwise I think you'll find that more and more of them will run for the hills or at the very least start acting strangely

  • Move on and find someone better and more apt to commit


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