After 3 months he started distancing himself and suddenly always busy?

i was dating this guy for 3 months. everything was great. we spoke everyday and saw each other at least twice a week. within the last 3 weeks he started giving excuses about being busy or arguing with family and that he didn't want to speak to anyone. I gave him that space but finally texted him in regards to what was going on with us, He replied..relax everything will be good. I asked him if he wanted me and he said yes I just need to be in a better state of mind. whatever that means. since than he's gone away on vacation. I Haven't heard from him yet. should I even text him anymore? HELP!


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  • I know it hurts when you think a guy likes you so much and then suddenly he turns a 180 degrees and blows hot and cold like that. There are two possibilities really; he's either honest or dishonest. I wouldn't know nor would anyone on GAG. You know him better and can tell if he's lying or not. These two possibilities are:

    1) He lost interest. It happens. He just doesn't want to hurt you so he's playing the "I'll walk away in peace and she will eventually forget all about me. This way I'm not going to hurt her".

    Why did he lose interest? 1. He found another girl with whom he was able to connect. 2. He doesn't feel the spark he felt he had for you three months ago 3. He doesn't want to commit unlike you (maybe he thinks you're being clingy or needy or that you like him too much). There can be other explanations but you got the idea.

    2) He might have been faced with a lot of challenges or problems in his life during this period. All his focus went to sort out his life and to collect himself. Love wasn't in the picture at the time. When everything settles, he will contact you. In this case, he isn't willing to leave you. Guys aren't brilliant multitaskers. They like to focus on one thing a a time. He doesn't mean to hurt you.

    As what I think you should do...don't text him or call him again. If he's willing to drift apart, then he will never come in contact with you again BUT if he was having problems these days he will eventually contact you when he feels better. It's also good that you don't appear as desperate or needy. Let him miss you and let him know that you have a busy life too. You've already contacted him and asked him what was wrong.

    Just keep busy and enjoy your life. :)

    • thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. so I guess my one last attempt of texting him is out the window also. its just all so hard to take in

    • I know it's hard, but you gotta distance yourself from him since your attempts to get closer has failed. I hope he realizes that he might lose you.

  • This sounds pretty much like what happened to me with my ex. My only advice is to run. As fast as you can. If a guy wants you, he will do everything to be with you. Nothing will stop him. He will not be too busy. He will not ask for space. You deserve better than that. If you choose to hang on and wait it will most likely just cause you more pain. Chances that this relationship has long-term potential are near to 0.

    • its just so hard to think someone can lose interest so quickly. I don't want to look like a fool but I feel like not trying is just easily giving up

    • I know it's sad, but some guys just seem to be like that. Once they know they got you, it's no longer a challenge. I can't blame you for wanting to try, just make sure you don't get hurt.