I think I might be his rebound and I'm scared I might get hurt? :(

So this guy and I have known each other for ~2 years. When we met, he was dating his ex, but he's since broken up with her (I don't know any of the details other than it just happened last summer) and we've been dating for a couple of weeks. The thing is, I'm not entirely sure he's completely over her and I'm scared I might just end up being hurt.

He talks about her all the time, sometimes unconsciously, I think. Because I'm a pretty quiet person, he takes the lead in a lot of our conversations and many times, we'll be talking about, say, Disneyland or something and he'll add in his opinion and then mention, oh, my ex so-and-so Disneyland. Or my ex used to like shopping here for hours or something. I feel like he's comparing her to me half the time. He'll act affectionate in private, but when we're on campus or around his friends, he keeps his distance. At first, I thought he was just a private person, but he's affectionate in public, as long as his friends aren't around.

When we are in private though, I feel like he's going way too fast for me, like he's trying to replace his ex with me or something. I know I have my own baggage and my pace is probably very slow because of my previous experiences, but I feel like he's pushing me to go faster unconsciously and I don't know if it's because he's not yet over his ex or because he just doesn't know how I feel. I told him we were going too fast just last night and he apologized, but we haven't really had a serious conversation about it yet and I haven't seen him since, so I don't know how much he took to heart.

Does it seem like I'm just a rebound? I really like this guy, but if I'm just going to get hurt in the end, maybe I should leave now before it gets any worse?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, that could be the reason. Women has really good intuition about men's intention upon them, so if you feel that he's rushing things then maybe he really is.

    However, it all comes to your feelings with the guy. I know you know it yourself if you want to spend a long time with your guy. But if you really don't want to take the risk and get hurt, then it's best if you leave now before it gets any worse.


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