I can't move on... :(

My ex and I were dating for 10 months. We had an amazing relationship! But he just broke up suddenly! Said he was too young, and could not commit, and wanted to focus on school. My heart was broken!

We see each other everyday in our small school program at the univ. I have had 6 months to get over the break up now! I know the seeing each other everyday part doesn't help. every time I feel like I am over it, I end up having a day where I feel like I have made no progress at all! I still get so bummed out. Like today, when we finished lab, he said bye to me...and my heart broke into a million pieces. Part of me expects him to say that what we had was so much better than what this is and he's sorry and misses me! But it NEVER will happen.

Because I am having trouble moving on, he has even said to me that he has no feelings left and will never date me again...we can be friends if I want, its up to me. This was the same guy who was my best friend for 2 years, and chased me for months to convince me to date him! It is so heartbreaking hearing those words from someone you love :(

How can he be so over me when everything we had was so perfect? Is he hurt.. does he ever get sad? How is this so easy for him? And when will it get easy for me? Will we ever be together in the future?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm sure he's hurt and I'm sure it's not easy. He may just be able to put up a good front. I doubt it's as easy at he may make it look.

    I've always felt like it take about the amount of time you were dating to get over it once the break up has occurred. Now I'd probably say it will take longer in your case since there was a 2 year courtship and you have to see him every day.

    Just try and separate yourself from him as much as you can. Don't plan on being friends or even really try being friends at this moment because your desire to be friends will constantly come into conflict with your more romantic feelings for him.

    You may even want to talk to him about it. Tell him you're having a tough time getting over it...and maybe even ask how he's dealing with it so well...and then tell him that you feel like you need help moving on. Maybe tell him that you need space and while you can't drop the class even in the class you need to create space for yourself.

    Good luck. Seeing your ex every day can't be easy and definitely doesn't aid in the grieving and recovering process

    • Thanks for your reply :):) means a lot! I did try talking to him months ago. Sometimes he would say he misses me too, sometimes just talk, but most times he would get frustrated. So I started going on an almost no-talking mode with him (except school related). Things are starting to settle down now. He does try to make small talk. He will come to my desk and try to ask me things. And I can put aside my feelings to reply politely.

    • I did love him! Its hard to see us end for no reason and all those strong feelings gone. All our friends always said they never saw us ending. And now he views me so differently! Like I went from the most interesting to the least interesting person in the world. Why does this happen to boys? The situation is just heartbreaking. I am trying to move on though...

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