Considering dating men, even though I'm mostly straight

For a while, I had been bi curious. Eventually I got up the guts to meet someone to experiment with. I've been with a couple of guys already. Very much enjoyed each time as I found it really hot. I felt this was as far as I would go with men. Keeping things secretly sexual.

Recently I began to think about what it would be like to date and actually have a relationship with a man. It was just a simple thought, but the more I thought about, the more the idea began to appeal to me. Keep in mind I've always dated women and I'm not questioning my sexual orientation as its irrelevant at this point.

All this is very new to me and I wonder how I could do it as the concept is so different then what I'm used to. The most recent relationships I had with women did not turn out too well. So I've figured why not?

I do have concerns as this takes me down a whole new road. It's not just casual fun anymore, but serious commitment. This would mean that eventually I would have to come out.

Has anyone else ever felt this way before? Despite never having any attraction to men in the past, to becoming curious and fooling around, to actually considering a full blown relationship with one?

Anyone have any advice as to what I should do and how to interpret this?

I think I should clarify some things. I do consider myself bisexual and the only reason why I put down "mostly straight" was because I've only dated women before and am generally attracted to women. However if things really work out with guys, I'm prepared to go with it. Not sure about being gay, I'm not writing off the possibility that I am, but will accept it once I figure it out.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You do realize (please tell me you realise) that so called "mostly straight" men, do not date other men? Or fool around sexually with them? Or want to? Or ever think about it?

    Trying to be tactful as possible here, but it's pretty obvious that you're either gay or bisexual, and to be honest, it looks far far more likely that you're gay and just really having a hard time coming to terms with it. Perhaps you live in an area which is really not gay friendly, or perhaps your sense of identity is wrapped up in a thick hetero blanket, and you'd be more nervous than anything about coming out to friends and family.

    Advice - start dating guys, if that's what you think you want to do, and if you think that is what would make you happy. Give it a shot.

    And how to interpret this? Have a long hard think about yourself, and be prepared to realize / admit / accept that you're gay.

    • Thank you for your intelligent advice. I will give it a shot. Accepting I am gay is not an issue for me. However I'm going to concentrate on just dating men and think about that when and if things get more serious.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Lmao... Oh boy just come out the closet already...stop killing yourself and the women your with me the only person that didn't know you were gay...was you,...believe that, it can't be hidden, you know like a


What Guys Said 2

  • what do you mean "dating men?" I don't get it. that's like gay.

  • Bro, I'm going to say this once, you're gay. Come out of the closet and start living your life the way it was intended to go, there's no shame in it, do what makes you happy, and trust me, you'll be much happier when you finally just tell everyone you're gay and start dating guys. Go for it man, live your life