Inappropriate work relationship, am I wrong to be upset?

My boyfriend is a personal trainer and most of his clients are girls in thir late 20s. They text him or call him to make appts. There is one client that texts him randomly not relating to work. She gave him free football tickets too. Just seems a little too friendly to me. I don't think my boyfriend is cheating or anything but it upsets me that this girl is texting him like this. If its a client she should only message him for work. Instead she' messaging him about fights w her friends or to ask the weather. An I wrong to be upset ? What can I do about this ?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah this girl definitely has more on her mind that personal training.

    When trainers are of similar age its not completely uncommon to become friendly with them. I had a trainer (granted he was a guy like me) who was a similar age, and we got a long quite well. So sometimes we would text each other random stuff, like about concerts we knew we both wanted to go to, or girls we thought were hot or something. He even mentioned hanging out a few times, but it never happened.

    Point is, It's not uncommon for people to form personal relationships in situations like this, that normally you would think should be purely business. However, I will say this, in a situation such as yours, your Boyfriend should take the appropriate action, either tell her to back off if it becomes to aggressive, or simply not play along. Don't text her back all the time about personal issues, or keep the conversations short and impersonal. He also shouldn't accept the football tickets (easier said than done). My sister went after her personal trainer (who was actually a friend of mine) and he told her straight out that he didn't want to jeopardize his job and that he just wasn't interested in pursuing anything.

    You're mature in that your not accusing him of cheating, obviously he only has so much control over their actions. What matters is that he isn't reciprocating. If it starts to get really bad, just let him know that you trust him, know he's not cheating, but that it makes you uncomfortable and would prefer if he could tone down the personal contact with these girls, or at least he make it known to them that he is taken and not interested in anything more than friendship. You just have to be careful that you don't make it sound like he can't be friends with girls, which technically is not against the rules, its just when it crosses that line that it becomes wrong, in which case, he's close to it since some of these girls clearly want to be more than just friends.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Just because that is happening, does not mean he is cheating. There are a lot of occupations and scenarios where the opposite sex finds the person attractive, and would want to stand out to them. If you have a strong relationship then ask him if she likes him. Hopefully he would answer truthfully then express that she makes you uncomfortable. Saying that is much more respectable then calling him out on cheating, lying, and telling at him when you have no facts. My ex girlfriend was always making 'jokes' about how I would leave her for another attractive girl and it got irritating because I expressed to her all the time how beautiful she was to me. Respect his occupation, and your relationship, and he should respect your wishes. Which is to stop associating with the woman AS much.

  • It comes down to whether you trust him. If you do then, sure, feel uncomfortable but accept it as a bit of the green eyed monster. Your boyfriend can't help it if a girl likes him. What he can help, is what he does about it.

  • Sounds like you have a tinge of jealousy.

    • Honestly, I couldn't blame her if she did. She already expressed that the girl is closer than a typical client and the she is offering him football tickets and talking about personal life.

      It's one thing for a dude to become friendly with a dude personal trainer, or a chick to become friendly with a chick personal trainer, but when the opposite sex is trying to get friendly and the guy is in a relationship, well of course it's going to be a concern.

      She could just be a friend only, but still..

What Girls Said 1

  • end it right thurrrr sister.. he is deffinantly cheating.. or enjoying a girls attention

    And if he isn't cheating then with all the attention he is getting from his clients he may start to think about it and act on it

    • Not every guy cheats.

      Honestly the only people who make these assumptions and jump to such conclusions are people who were unlucky enough to be cheated on. I'm sorry you had a bad relationship, but that doesn't mean every guy is wrong just because you chose a bad guy.

      Approximately 50% (give or take a few %) of the world is female. It is nigh impossible to not interact with women. It IS possible for guys to never end up in relationships though, despite interacting with women so frequently.