Do you guys have any suggestions? help...

Ok, in May of this year I met a guy called Lewis. He had just split with his long term girlfriend of 2 years but had instantly taken a liking to me. I ended up liking him too. It came to the 1st June and we saw each other for the first time. I went over to his place and we watched films and cuddled. We shared our first kiss.

This went on for a good month. Each day I went to his where we cuddled and watched films. I honestly really felt comfortable with him. Things were going WAY too fast though. I am a virgin, and I was scared of how he'd react to this. To my surprise he was so decent and replied ' don't worry about anything, I'll wait as long as you need." But me being me thought this was all too good to be true and accidentally led him into believing I wanted to have sex. Through doing this Lewis noticed change and didn't like it.

He said it was messing with his head a bit ( he was still vulnerable from his break up) and I stupidly suggested maybe he should re try things with his ex. He didn't take my suggestion well and insisted he never would. But after a very silly misunderstanding between us, he went to find solace in his ex as he felt regret about losing her. I tried to be strong and let him try things with this girl he'd once loved.

Anyway, I was so annoyed inside. One of his friends, who I had liked a very long time ago had came into my life just at this time. He kissed me and so on, and we were seeing each other on and off. Things didn't work out for Lewis and his ex and since he's went through a rough patch and been living life rather recklessly let's say.

I however can't get Lewis out of my head. We've texted on and off now and then for the past month, usually if we've met each other on a night out we'll have a little text session when I get home at night. He's back to how we were when we first met. When I saw him for the first time in a while his eyes lit up and he had his eyebrows raised up with a smile and a soft gentle voice asking how I was and gave me a cuddle. I noticed him looking at me a lot too off-guard.

I saw him again last night and when he cuddled me he rubbed my lower back a little and wanted to know all about my life. He was quite close to my face and had big soft eyes and a gentle voice when talking to me.

After that I headed home and I texted him apologising about how we turned out. He then asked me if I was OK and told me I could trust him with anything. He then asked who I was interested in and about what was happening with his friend and I - I told him I wasn't sure. I don't think his friend is too into me, all he seems to want is sex.

My question is, what do you think of Lewis and his actions? He's said a few hurtful things to me after we had our misunderstanding, but I guess I deserved it. Do you think he maybe still had a few spare feelings? I would love it if we could be together, but I don't know how he sees me now.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It seems, irrelevant of how things are when you two are together you need to look at the bigger picture. It seems that things are complicated already and you need to ask yourself are you willing to put the effort in to sort out those complications and work through things.

    Seeing him again in the way that you used to is a dangerous move without working through the issues that were present before. But upfront and honest in the simplest of terms in relation to matters concerning sex. Take on board what he has to say and see if both of you are willing to accept the position(s) that each other will take on the subject.

    Then you need to discuss what happened in relation to the argument and his resultant actions in going back to his ex. This also needs to be covered in great detail and simplicity so as to not cause confusion.

    In saying this you also need to be upfront and truthful in relation to the happenings between you and his friend.

    You both then need to go away and think about things for a while. Make your decision based on everything you guys speak about then talk about it when you're both ready.

    Dont do this over the phone, email, text or anything else. Treat the situation with what it deserves respect and dignity. Also having the conversation can also eradicate any potential for mis-understandings.

    All the best

    • Thanks very much. That's me just seeing this answer. Honestly, I needed to hear something like this. I'm just scared I've waited too long and it's went to waste now. OR the ultimate worst that he is playing games with me. With his ex, I kinda understand. With me and his friend, well I didn't take our break-up well and I think I just felt kinda worthless at the time. Turned out his friend is a 'player' and a jerk who never made me feel happy or wanted anyway, so my self esteem has suffered :/

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He is really a sincere and genuine guy.
    Certainly by his actions, he likes you a lot, in more than friends sense.
    About his feelings for you, it's certain that he holds a great attraction for you, and would love to have a relationship with you. Things were bad between him and his ex, and it only prove that they are not meant together.

    You and Lewis has a good chemistry. You two are a perfect fit for each other.

    • You think he is? I do too, a lot of people think he's a jerk though :/. I think he does too, but he's likely too embarrassed to get back with me now. Thanks, I think we're good for each other too, he just has to have some faith in me and put all of this behind us. He has to put his ex behind him too, because she was 'perfect' as he said once, and that takes a lot of living up to. Thank you for your advice!

What Girls Said 1

  • Lewis is a wacko and you are a rebound...end of story