Me and my girlfriend are engaged. We have an online relationship. We have been dating since May 2012 and have known each other since June 2011 (it doesn't seem that long!). Anyway, we both have weird schedules. She lives with her parents (she's 25) and sleeps until 3pm or later and goes to bed at like 10pm. Firstly - I get really angry at this. I want to spend time with my girlfriend (via text, AIM, etc) and she wants to watch TV or get moody and never talk to me.
I am a student getting ready to graduate (I'm 20, community college) and get up at 6am and go to bed around 11pm. I live with my Mom and help around the house. While I do enjoy TV, I am not completely addicted to it as she is.
A week or so ago, I proposed to her and she said yes.
That was just a little backstory. Anyway, we fight all the time over the smallest things: When she refuses to get online, when she goes to bed after only being up 3 hours, getting annoyed with each other for clamming up after feeling hurt by something the other one says... The list could go on.
My question is, how can I try and stop this crap from happening? The fighting over nothing and the stubbornness we both have?
I plan to see her in May and will be proposing in real life to her then, and I want us to be at a secure place in our relationship for that to happen. I love her, whole and true, and just want us to be together without the fighting and the games we play with each other.
How can I make this online relationship worth it's stress and how can I destress us? Also, are there any tips to keep our romance alive online (I feel kinda weird asking that)?
Thanks in advance for constructive answers.
Most Helpful Girl
If the relationship is kind of rocky, why are you in such a hurry to get engaged? Engagement and marriage come with their own trials and tribulations, some of which will be a lot bigger than the things you guys are arguing about now. Why not take the extra time to work on your relationship, get on the same page, and get things stable for a while before you take the next step? Don't use a marriage proposal as a way to rescue your relationship, because that is a recipe for disaster. It doesn't seem like you guys have quite built up the communication skills or the conflict resolution skills you'll need to be in a committed long-term relationship. See if you can fix the issues in your relationship and then revisit the issue of marriage.
In the short term, communication is key, especially in a long-distance relationship. So ask her: Why is she more interested in watching TV than talking to you? What's causing her moodiness? Or let her know how you feel: "It makes me feel hurt when you choose to watch television rather than spend time with me, since we have so little time together." Or "I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling down. I would really like to help you feel better, but I can't do that unless you open up to me." If she's not open to at least discussing the issues, I don't think she has much interest in working on the relationship. In that case, it probably won't work out anyway. Relationships take lots of work, and lots of compromise.1