Scared of putting myself back into the dating scene?

Want to meet someone but to afraid to put myself out there again?

I keep getting burned whenever things start going good with a guy.

I am not sure what I am doing wrong. But the last couple of dates since my last relationship.

Things will go well for two or three months and then just when I start to feel things transitioning into a relationship. The guy says he is not ready, or does not want anything serious!

How do you keep things exciting while dating? I think it fizzles out for them!

Just want to learn from my mistakes. Think holding off on sex will help on this also?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Very good question! This is one of those complicated answers where most people will just say have more confidence or wait for the right person blah blah blah, but I truly believe there are common traits / actions that girls do that keep guys wanting more. I'm not even sure of the answer myself at the moment, but I'll just brainstorm here with you and think about girls I've dated in the past that I just couldn't get enough of:

    Here are some common traits of girls I couldn't get enough of:

    - They laughed a lot in a flirty way and had that spunky personality about them

    - They never FULLY gave themselves to me. They always had a life of their own, and would request that we did things she wanted instead of always going along with what I wanted.

    - They made it known very clear, they didn't put up with bull sh*t, and when I would start screwing up they let me know if I kept it up they would be gone for good.

    On that note, most girls that I lose interest in, are girls that don't demand any respect for themselves. Guys are a lot like dogs, we are constantly pushing the boundaries to see what we can get away with. Ironically though, we want someone who doesn't take any sh*t. That's who we end up respecting and wanting as a girlfriend. The girls that let us do whatever we want, are the ones we have fun with for awhile, and leave as soon as something better comes along. Sad but true

    - Girls that kept my interest always had some kind of boundaries in place. And there is no right answer to what that boundary is, its just the fact that they have some they won't break.

    - One girlfriend of mine wouldn't have sex unless we were in a relationship. That def made me want her more.

    I don't know, I ran out of ideas, but for me, the biggest thing is someone who doesn't let me do what ever I want. I want a girl who stands up for herself, respects herself, and has her own life. If every time I ask a girl to hang out, she drops whatever she is doing, that is a major turn off to me.

    I would never be in a relationship with someone like that as ironic as it sounds.

    Oh one last thing, I just watched the movie, Vanilla Sky which is an old Tom Cruise movie. OMG, if you want the best example of how to be the kind of girl, guys are obsessed with. Watch and study Penelope Cruz in that movie. That personality type will keep any guy hooked for ever.

    Perfect mix of classy, sexy, feminine, and demanding of respect!

    Hope that gives you a hint or two that is applicable for your situation! ;)

    • Thanks. That has helped a lot. I always do what guys want. Let them get away with everything.

      Could wait with the whole sex thing also. LoL.

      Just wish I did that more with the last guy I dated!

      Yeah that seems to be my problem. I seem to be the girl they want till something better comes along. Just getting sick of it and want to change it. :(.

      It'll be fine the first couple of weeks then change. Thanks for the tips though I will keep those in mind. :).

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Don't live for what if's, Live for the moment, so you'll have no regrets. When couples become official, and both are faithful, always try to pretend to win them over even thought you already did,that's the only really keep an Relationship Faithful.

  • I believe holding off on sex builds sexual tension and makes you hypersensitive to your own feelings about him/her. I try to refrain for at least two months in the beginning.


What Girls Said 2

  • Well it's hard to tell without seeing in action... do you call them incessantly? Are you too needy? Do you have a life of your own? If you have the tendency to dump everything (including your friends) for a new guy, then you will know why the guys start moving on in 2 to 3 months. I am not sure if holding off on sex will make a big difference as I've slept with people on the 2nd or 3rd date and ended up in long term relationships (3-4 yrs) with them. However, if you notice that by jumping in the sack too early, you are not learning about the person as well as you would be just hanging out and talking, then maybe you should hold off first. Lastly, maybe you just haven't found the right guy yet. Usually people move on at month 2 or 3 as they figure out you aren't the partner they were looking for. Don't let that put you down. Just remember to cultivate yourself and interests and you will find that special someone. These people who move on aren't "the one," so just learn from your time with them and turn a "bad" thing into a good learning experience. Good luck!

  • how about spending time single and get to know yourself, the right guy will come along..