In a good dating routine but unable to have love or a relationship?

So I found myself in a strange place. I had an ex who cheated and lied to me and was eager to get back into the dating scene after I found that out.

I was talking to a girl from work and school, and everything went great. We went to dinner, mini golf, and cuddled at home. Then she talked to me less and less, so I started looking for women who were more interested. I was talking to a christian cheerleader from another school who was really into me; her and I talked everyday and had great communication. Her and I was supposed to go on a date on Saturday.

Last night, the first girl texted me saying "I don't want to hurt your feelings if you were looking for something more than friendship. I've been really busy this year. I thought I was ready for something, but I'm just not. I'm sorry if I lead you on. you're a great guy and id still like to be friends Because we have a lot of interests in common." The second girl texted me today saying, "I feel like this weekend won't turn out fun for us. Like I feel that you are so into it and looking forward to it and for some reason, I'm not feeling that way. And I feel that its not fair for you. Normally when I'm texting a guy I really like, I get butterflies. With you I didn't feel that and I'm not saying your not sweet enough or caring enough, because you are, but every time I talk to you, I just don't feel anything like you did. I don't want to lead you on and make you think that I want to persue something with you, when in all honesty, I think of you as a friend and that's it. You are sweet and nice and I love how much you cared about me, but I'm not feeling it... I am the type of person that wants to get to know someone before dating for at least a couple years."

Also, I have a third girl that I am going on a date with tomorrow since these two didn't work out.

My question is... Am I talking to the wrong women? Is there something wrong with me? They say I'm sweet and awesome, but they don't want to date me. Do girls want guys to prove to them that they want them by staying friends and MAYBE getting the chance to date them after that? I'm just so frustrated and upset. I felt something with these two girls and I know they did too, but it didn't work out.

I feel learned helplessness. All these girls are hurting me when I always do my best to be the best for them. I don't know if I should try anymore? Girls always prove me wrong and disappoint me in the end.

Why can't I find the right person? Why can't I find someone who feels the same, has my standards, who wants to date? I'm 20 and in college. Do I need to wait until I'm older? That's not fair. People are in relationships but fate decided that I'm not allowed to be in one. What's going wrong with my life? Should I try to be happy with myself instead of trying to date? I want a relationship, though.



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What Girls Said 2

  • Usually, if I meet a guy, or if I'm reconnecting with a guy after a long absence, and I want to like him but just don't have those feelings yet, or they exist but aren't strong enough, I'll say something like what girl number 2 said in order to prolong the friendship stage and wait for those feelings to grow stronger. I don't think you need to wait till you're older, girls will only become more temperamental, demanding, and selective because they will have passed their peak and are looking for someone to settle down with. You should try changing the types of girls you go for. I know, you go for what you are attracted to, but it seems like you are interested in girls who aren't a good fit for you. I wouldn't stay friends with them if you don't see the possibility of being just that as anything but miserable. If I were you, I would look for someone a little more mellow, who doesn't over-analyze every text. I'm sorry if this wasn't very helpful. Just let me know how that third date goes! She could be the charmer.

  • You just haven't met the right one

    Keep getting yourself out there


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