Another stupid "what the hell is going on" question...

So my boyfriend of two years broke up with me this past June. We didn't see each other at all for the next three months then only hung out in groups sporatically. This semester we've started hanging out one on one. We cuddle and laugh and joke and generally act exactly like we did when we were together.

Well we were parting ways tonight and he did this stupid thing we used to do with our noses when we were together and we usually followed it with a kiss so I just did it, on instinct... And kinda to see his reaction. And he kissed back.

We talked about it afterward and he said that he cares about me and that he's still really physically attracted to me. However he's not ready for a relationship again and he's not sure he likes me like that, or if he will like me like that again.

Yet he wanted to tuck me into bed before he left, we fall asleep cuddling watching movies, we still have story time (read aloud books to each other) and we still kind of sing to each other. All of this seems like more than just "I care about you" plus "you're hot" they seem like he does have feelings.

I'm just really damn confused and have no idea what he's thinking, what he's feeling or anything so any advice you guys could give would be much appreciated.

As a side note- he broke up because I was getting too clingy and negative but this summer I spent a lot of time improving myself as a person and learning how to be in a good adult relationship- friend or boyfriend. And I think he can tell. And after all this space we've had I feel like it's kind of been a re-set button for us. So yeah, not sure if that is relevant but... help please?


Most Helpful Girl

  • As it stands now you two are friends. Friends have boundries and he is willingly crossing those. You don't cuddle or kiss or do intimate things like that with friends. Let him know that you would like clear solid boundries so you don't become confused. I thinks he's out of line.


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What Guys Said 3

  • This is the reason why I think ex's generally shouldn't hang around each other. There are three likely scenarios.

    A) After a lot of confusion and blurred lines, fast forward a few months and they hate each other.

    B) They hang around and are comfortable, until one of them starts a relationship with someone else and the other gets their heart broken all over again.

    C) They get past it all and become good friends.

    D) They get back together again (though usually they break up and start the cycle all over).

    Sadly, I have seen scenarios A and B far more than C and D.

  • There's more freedom to relate to each other sponaneously when there aren't defined relationships involved..there aren't any borders or expectations, so you just wing it and have fun.

    Formal dating doesn't allow such spontaneity and gets boring after a time.

    Enjoy these moments; you'll rmember the longer than what happened in the formal dating and relationship phase you went through with him, which ended unhappily!

  • I don't think what he is doing is fair to you. You will be hurt by him. You should leave him alone but you won't


What Girls Said 0

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