Why did the guy I have been seeing suddenly change his mind about me?

I work with someone that I really like and up until a few days ago he seemed to like me too. We were instantly attracted to one another when we started working together but we didn't act on it for a few months. Then we started texting, going on dates and eventually kissed. Everything seemed to be going really well until one day in the office he cancelled one of our dates which was fine but he just seemed really off with me. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he really liked me and that was the problem. We started to argue and I said in the heat of the moment that maybe it was best if we didn't speak any more as I didn't want to confuse him further. He agreed and we haven't spoken again except about work related stuff. I really don't know what I have done wrong and I have this sinking feeling that he has just gone off me. I haven't text him, I guess the best thing to do is what I am doing, just leaving it and getting on with my life? I just wonder whether he will get in touch with me again.


Most Helpful Girl

  • " I asked him what was wrong and he said that he really liked me and that was the problem." He may be working through some internal conflict. I work with all males and have had my guy friends back away from their gfs because they (the guys) started thinking committment and it scared the s*it outta them. Text him just a smiley face or some sorta cute emoticon and see if he responds. If not, you may want to just let this one go. It's tough, but, you may never know the real reason. That seems to be the hardest part sometimes for us women...not knowing.

    • Thanks for your advice! I've started to come to the same conclusion myself, that he is scared of commitment so I've made an effort not to chase him or put pressure on him but on the other hand he hasn't been in touch for almost a week now, not so much as a smiley face, so there is a possibility he just didn't want to commit to me. But yeah you are right, it's the not knowing why that is bugging me!

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What Guys Said 3

  • You shouldn't date people at work. Geez I love watching this especially when it happens in my office.

    You need to understand the "conflict of interest". This is why you can't date people from work. it doesn't work. Say you guys got serious. Okay, whos gonna leave there position to go work somewere else? and start fresh, and say you have been there for 5 years and have now accumulated 3 weeks of vacation. Do you really wanna give that up? What if you have a very good image at work. And don't feel like leaving the company and neither does the other person in your relationship.

    Work relationships never work. I'm sorry but they dont. Mabe when your 40 they do. But in the younger ages they dont. Plus why do you wanna date someone and see them at work. Then if a co-worker flirts with you, and your partners sees it, its gonna piss them off. Cause face it, that's office politics. everyone flirts with everyone. You just have to know when to stop.

    For example. And I'm not trying to sound cocky. But Every since girl I'm my company office, flirts with me. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I don't jump on them or ask them out. I do it back very lightly. I don't lead them on. I still keep it professional. You have to learn how to flirt and just leave it at that, and return to your professional duties.

    Dont date people from work. Its a conflict of interest. And one more thing. When people find out at work, and you get a raise or a job promo, they will talk badly of you, because they will think that you only got that because your screwing/dating that guy/girl.

    Dont date people at work. Its a Conflict of interest.

    Or you can learn the hard way and try it again with him, or with someone else.


  • And Stop asking yourself why. It could be anything. It could be the fact that he has to see you every day. it could be the fact that he was just trying to "get it in" like every other guy in the office tries to do. It could be the fact that mabe he has his own issues he has to deal with. Or he has an ex he's not over. It could be anything.

    Just remeber it wasn't you. And that's all. And that its a "conflict of interest"

  • Maybe.


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