Okay guys (and gals too). Here's my short story: married for two years - 2 months before wedding he gets tons of texts from # that's a chick (no way!) I see them the next day as I pay phone bill. I ask who it is he says old friend. I look at his phone no messages. There were 5 hours worth of texts. I call # from his phone no answer. He has been known to tell whitelies so I have the gut feeling. There were no more texts on his phone,week later I spoof called his # he thinks its her. I say why didn't you tell me you had a crazy fiancé? He says because she is about to not be I can't get rid of her. Ding ding! So I stop wedding plans ask him about the situation of course he claims he said it because he knew it was me. Swears nothing happened old friend the texts were innocent and I made it up in my head. Fast forward. I married him. Our kids were attached and I loved him thought he loved me just had a baby and I get an email. They used to sleep together as coworkers in 04-happened five or so times didn't date but I do see the texts from 2 years ago and it's sexting nasty sexting and it literally began when she text out of blue to say hi after that it went down hill. Her befriend happened to have these texts and shared to inform me. Nice. the texts ended with them planning to hook up. She tells her bfriend the truth: she fu*ked my then fiancé at a hotel after he left work one day a week or so after I spoof called him 2 years ago. She tells me but I get vague info no hotel name just location. Anyway my husband vehemently lies it happend. He says it was 08 she's confused! So he lies to my face swearing up and down she is lying he calls her she won't answer then she texts me to say she was wrong it happend before me. We go to counseling he swears same- counselor believes him then I asked what car she drove and I got her reg. info and she bought the car in 09. When we were engaged so he says OK I did it but it was August (he thought it was less worse if it happend a year before wedding I guess?) so I got the hotel receipt and two months later gave it to him. It was exactly 1.5 months before wedding. He played dumb acted upset omg I can't believe this... It's laughable so I ask him how did they speak to each other? One time he said I'm not bringing other people into it then he says maybe she had prepaid phone and I used landline at work. He worked retail I don't think he's spending periods on phone talking nasty in the middle of sales floor. So he is still lying and he swears he didn't get off it was weird he stopped pulled up pants she got dressed they didn't speak both left and never spoke again. I call BS so guys how we're they talking and did they really leave and never speak again? I guess they hooked up in 08 too so he just slept with whatever gave up the ass I've found out which whatever. I just want to know truth and its because I'm staying for now and yes it's stupid but the kids are happy and I believe I should see if I can ever not hate him before I am divorced X's 2!
Most Helpful Guy
If this is anything like what I went through, as good as you are at being detective, THIS is just the tip of the iceberg ... not saying he's that way, but mine was & still IS.
I came to the horrible retreat that I could forgive what became apparent - the affair & being so alone, little talk after work - only to have all this covered up by Hitler-sized lies told on me to friends & family ... still goes on.
As time goes by, more comes to light, backstabbing letters to friends, I'm always the devil, she's always the angel w/halo. It's how lazy people compete in life, they dream up a world that worships them (like Satan), then propaganda does the rest. Politics pale in comparison. I'll be your friend &/or family becomes - now you must believe my lies and become my pawn.
That's the best answer I have for
what might be the Rest of the Story?
As for Why?
The ones I know are compensating through sex, turning their failures with no joys into successes with joys ... while keeping their feathered nest nice & warm, secure by treating their "loves" like mushrooms (keep them in the dark & feed them sh*t)
His "commitment" & "word" to others is just what it takes to get what he wants ... and he may be as fickle as a Sagittarius ...
What to do?
Very interested in the rest of this story someday and especially that you found perfect harmony & trust in The One ... I did