I need an opinion on these mixed signals from a guy

He asked for my number and we started talking. At first it seemed like he just wanted to get laid. When we'd hang out he would call them dates. I was holding back Because I thought he was just trying to get laid. Then when I told him I wanted to feel more open around him he was like lets just be friends first and see what happens. To which I agreed enthusiastically Because I felt like the pressure of trying to make a romance out of thin air was off. But he still continued to try to actively hang out with me on what I call "non dates." And he texts me regularly as well.

I can't figure out why he went from "dates" to "lets be friends" but still seems to be into me. The other thing is, he talks a lot when we are together, he seems like a really confident guy but admits he is more serious around me and has not let loose completely. I have been to his apartment a few times and he has taken me to some of his regular hang outs, but we have never hung out with other people, just alone. He hasn't made any moves on me either.

Whats going on? Is he trying to take it slow Because he doesn't want to mess things up too soon or Because he wants a real chance with me as opposed to just a fling?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It seems like you scared him off at the start, and now he is afraid to try and go back to the dating stage. You sent him mixed signals, and now perhaps he doesn't know if you're ready to go back to dating. I suggest you send him some sort of signal that you wanna get going again.

    About the opening up thing, it's probably because he's nervous (he might seem confident, probably isn't around you cos he likes you). Try and make him more comfortable. Hope this helped!

    • I don't understand how I would have scared him. I was being kinda reserved at first because I was nervous and guarded. Now I am opening up more and he has noticed. I honestly can't tell if he even likes me. There aren't any clear signals that I can read from him that make me feel like he is romantically interested in me.

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    • Yeah that's the thing I could never figure out, why he called them dates before we even knew each other. I just went with it because I wanted to hang out with him. I am still trying to find out how I feel about him, I definitely like him as a friend and if something more were to happen that would be fantastic but its not something I want to force either if it doesn't come naturally. Therefore I don't want to directly ask him and ruin anything we already have.

    • What if he were to give up on you and try with another girl? You might be disappointed. He's not gonna stop being friends with you even if he isn't interested in a relationship...after all it was him that wanted it to begin with. Go for it!

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