How do I be there for her?

A girl I dated for a while a few months back who I am very close friends with was arrested over the weekend over something I know she wasn't at fault for. Now she's really stressed out about her upcoming court date and I feel some sort of need to be there for her as a friend. She's really sweet and kind and doesn't deserve this sort of thing. What do I do?

April's (my friend's) older sister found evidence that led her to believe her husband was cheating on her with April (which he wasn't), and rather than settling it peacefully or intelligently she attacked April with a knife. April is pretty tough and
was able to disarm her without sustaining much damage, then knocked the crap out of her older sister and beat the living daylights out of her. She was the one who was hauled off to jail when the cops got there, despite the fact that it started with her
older sister attacking her with a knife.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Just do exactly that, be there for her.

    Was their any witness's to the attack that can verify her sister attacked her with the knife first?

    Nothing huge can really happen to her anyways, its an assault charge, there was no weapon use on her part, and it was self defence.

    I had something similar happen to me with an ex friend of mine. She was the type that goes completely off the deep end, like totally batty when she drinks. I had never hit her before and this wasn't the first time, I've even broken down doors from restraining her because I refused to hit her. But, long story short, she tried to choke me out of no where, I grabbed her wrists and told her calmly to get off me or I WOULD hit her if I had to. She gave me a stupid grin and reached behind me and then grabbed my kitten by the throat and proceeded to choke it. That's when I lost it (My cats like my baby) its one thing to touch me its another to hurt my baby. I threw her up and swung, broke her nose and laid her out starfished on the ground. My sister woke up and we were trying to throw her out of our house, she was resisting and started whipping glass bottles at us, so my sister grabbed her and threw her down the stairs, and then I grabbed her by her shirt and pants and tossed her out the front door jazzy jeff style lol.

    Anyhow point is, I reacted in self defence. She called the cops and pressed charges, but eventually the charges got dropped because she was the one who started the altercation. And especially in cases when its really he said she said, because there's no proof really how it started.

    I would just be supportive and reassure her of the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe tell her to press charges on her sister even for trying to stab her if she hasn't already, it would even out her odds.

    • No witnesses unfortunately, but I know April well enough to know that it happened exactly the way she said it did. And I know her sister well enough to know that sounds exactly like something she would do, attacking April with a knife over that.

  • you can listen to her complain, drone on and on about her problems, giving a sympathetic ear and encouraging comments. you can help her see things logically and rationally while also being supportive. you can remind her you're there for her any time, at least that's what my friend would do =)


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