Is it better to just tell someone you want them if you have a hard time moving on?

I've known this guy for a few years now. I didn't develop feelings for him right away. I probably knew him for over a year before I did. However, he is really hot so I never thought I'd have a chance with him. So I just ignored the feelings I have for him. I kept going on dates with other men. I've always found meeting new guys fun, even if there is a chance it's not going to go past the first date. I've just always felt there is some excitement in the nervousness of a new date, getting ready and meeting him.

Last summer, I was in a relationship with a guy for a bit until he screwed me out of money and I found out he was cheating on me the whole time. But I was more pissed off about the money thing then the cheating, even though I wasn't impressed about that either. So I guess that just shows the relationship wasn't really that serious anyway.

I've always felt something for the guy I first brought up though, even when I was dating other men. But a couple of months ago he did something really sweet for me that no one has ever done for me before, not even family or friends and that made me fall harder for him than I felt before. And I just have no enthusiasm at all for dating other guys. All that excitement that I used to feel is gone. I just want him. I went out on a date with a guy last Saturday night because a friend of mine thought I should to get me out of this depressed funk I've been in, but I just didn't feel it like I used to before a date. There was no excitement in meeting him, or dressing up that I used to get. And I had no fun on the date, and I guess he could tell because he told my friend that I seemed bored the whole time. She wanted us to go on a double date with her and her boyfriend on Valentine's Day but I said no because I just had no interest.

I've never had this happen to me before. I've had crushes but it was easy enough to move on. If I didn't think I had a chance with a guy I developed a crush on I just did something like date to distract me and I would move on with no problem.

So this is new to me. I don't know how to move on from him, except maybe cut off our friendship. So I'm wondering if maybe I should just tell him how I feel. I know I'll probably get rejected though because I'm ugly. But I'm starting to think either way the friendship is probably over. I tell him, he rejects me and it's all awkward between us, or I cut off the friendship because I figure the only way I can move on is if we have no contact with each other. And the second option seems to bother me more than telling him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think it deoends on how often you two talk with each other and who brings these things up. Also, something to consider is the current state of your interactions. Based on what you've said here, it seems like there's a lot of tension. If these are true, I'd say tell him what's up.

    • We see each other almost everyday. But is does feel like there is tension between us at times.

    • Could you describe it at all?

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