Why doesn't he ever text me first, but always wants to call me?

I've been talking to this guy for a while and I always have to text him first, but when I text him he always texts back immediately and then after an hour of so of texting he asks to call me (we have talked for 2 hours on the phone before).

Why doesn't he ever text me first? It's not like he doesn't want to talk he always seems very eager to speak to me, but he never initiates any texts. Why?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe he dislikes texting.

    Personally, when I text my boyfriend, is just to say "good morning" or something, to make him smile :)

    When I want to actually talk to him, we call each other.

    Neither him nor I like texting that much; and I'd rather listen to his voice than imagining it when I read his replies...

    Maybe that guy is like us and doesn't like texting that much...

    On the other hand, this guy can be THAT oblivious XD , not thinking "she's always texting me first", because he does like to talk to you... Or he'd take too long to reply all the time, or he'd never reply at all.

    Also, he likes to talk to you by voice, which is a good thing :) , he's comfortable when talking to you (usually, people fell better talking by texts because they can think about what they want to say or what the other person just said. He doesn't need to do that because he's comfortable talking with you and his answers come naturally; that's good!)

    Just because he doesn't text you first, doesn't mean he doesn't like to talk to you!

    If you're that curious/ annoyed at this, simply ask him the next time you talk to him :)

    If you're not too OK with asking that directly because you're still getting to know each other, try to make it sound cute or something. How? Idk, 'cause I always ask things directly or by saying the conclusion first, letting him think about it and ask me what was the cause of it. Usually works better with oblivious guys (or even girls) that don't notice when something they do affects other people until you say I feel this way and they think "that's not good" and then ask you why.

    I'd go about that like this, because he seems an oblivious guy:

    me: I feel a bit bothered by something.

    he: bothered by what?

    me: Am I being annoying? I mean, I always text you first and that makes me think that you don't want to talk to me that much, or you'd do it first.

    he (probably): What are you talking about?// what? // wth?!

    me: It's no problem for me to text you first, I don't mind it. As long as I don't feel like I'm annoying you, because I'd know you like to talk to me if you'd text me first one day or the other...

    (sorry if this sounds too needy, but I never would get annoying because of this, so I don't know if this "dialogue" is a bit exagerated or what)

    Anyway, you'd get your answer :) !


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What Guys Said 3

  • Same reason as every guy that I wish you girls would get through your thick skulls.


    • I've actually never heard that before lol

    • Exactly, but walk up to just about any guy on the street and ask them how they feel about texting. I would guess about 80% would say they don't like it. Even talking on the phone sucks. See guys do not bond through words. There are literally chemicals released in the female brain when she is having a deep conversation with someone, that's why women like to talk with their partners. Guys don't have this. Our equivalent is physical touch and proximity to you.

  • Communication is communication, right? He wants to talk to you on the phone instead of babysitting his phone and waiting for texts.

  • could just be that he thinks you'll always text him first, ever thought of asking him?

    • Possibly, I'll ask him about it next time we text. I guess I'm just sort of afraid that he'll say he doesn't wanna text me which is a totally irrational fear I know, but I still have it

    • just think positive thoughts! bring it up nonchalantly if at all possible to help ease your mind?

What Girls Said 1

  • Could be he's just shy and probably feels like he's bothering you. If its annoying then don't text him for a few days and I guarantee hell text you or call to see where you've been

    • He is very shy (It took me a lot of time to crack open his shell), but he is very comfortable around me now.. Or at least I thought he was :/ I'll try not texting him until his birthday (Saturday) and see what happens

    • Yeah that's probably why he ne'er texts you first! Let me know what happens lol !

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