Contacting Him , Desperate Or Not ?

I knew this guy for 6+ months but we only dates casually for three during that time we only went on a few dates. He ended up breaking things off because he thought I wasn't independent enough. Well he didn't exactly end things he got really distant and after days of me prodding he finally admitted what was bugging him. Then he said he wanted time to think about things I haven't spoken to him since February 10th. I've been trying to give him space but after 10 days it seems like he was just trying to find a way out without saying he wasn't interested anymore. The thing is I really miss him and I was thinking of texting him and asking either where he stands or if we could be friends. But I've been refraining from doing so because I don't want to come off as desperate. Thoughts? Advice please.

I should add that he once told me guy and a girl can't be friends.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ahem...

    Contacting him will definitely make you seem desperate.Guys like to avoid confrontation like the plague,so some often choose the phasing out way of approaching things.If you contact him,all you will be doing is confirming what he already believes about you...that you aren't independent.

    Now,My final words on it:

    Don't EVER and I mean EVER wait on a man to decide whether he wants you or not.If he was so willing to let go of things the first time around,he WILL do it again.When someone ends a relationship or dating..whatever,they are doing it because they don't see it working,and they would rather date someone else.Clearly,you like him a heck of a lot more than he likes you.Say that sentence to yourself a couple of times,because its TRUE.He has you hanging on the edge of your seat,meanwhile is going on with his life,and very possibly seeing other people.Also,he may not get back to you...or may be nonchalant about doing it.

    If I were you,I would leave the situation alone and not try and get him to come back to you.You should never want somebody back that so easily threw you away.Value yourself more than that.Take his feedback,and if its true,work on improving yourself for YOU first,and also for your next suitor.This whole situation sounds wack,and I wouldn't even bother with this guy...good luck.

    • Please give updates on your progress with this situation...thanks for ba.

    • Your very welcome thanks for the response. It's exactly the kind of thing I would give but sometimes it's hard to take your own advice. Over the last few months. He really has be on one of my bfs but you're right he obviously doesn't value me as much as I value him. That's kind of cray because he pursued me for months relentlessly. Then when I give him a chance and some attention he flakes. Our last conversation he basically said me being close my family makes me not dependent.

    • Which I don't get at all.I think the issue may be that I'm in college and he's older and significantly more established. But he knew my situation for months. I'm not perfect but if doesn't accept me at my worst he doesn't deserve me at my best. And on that note I definitely won't be contacting him or responding if he contacts me. Again thanks for the advice.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You need to stop punishing yourself. He has no interest in you for even a simple friendship.

  • Just move on do other things, Most Men who Respect Women, won't feel the girl is desperate for texting or calling him.

    If a guy says you're Bugging him, he lost interest in you. Sorry being honest.

    • He never said I was bugging him. I just sensed that something was wrong the last week we spoke. But he kept assuring me everything was fine. Which obviously it wasn't. But you right I'm moving on.

What Girls Said 1

  • Give it another 2 weeks before you text him.

Loading... ;