A question for girls who've tried online dating

Girls who've tried online dating, what would make you reply to a message from a guy? I've heard that even on dating sites with more women than men, women get far more first-contact messages than men. So, what would make a first-contact message stand out?

I started online dating about 2 months ago, have sent about 30 messages. No one replies. I did receive one first contact from a girl, but when I replied, she didn't!

I would say I'm slightly handsome, definitely not ugly or gorgeous: this is reflected in my profile pic. My profile makes me sound intelligent, interesting and funny. Also I'm 5' 10'', normal weight, mixed White/E.Asian, brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, good fashion sense. As long as the girl isn't overweight, I'm not too picky about looks. The girls I've messaged range from very beautiful to slightly less attractive than me.

I make sure every message is well written, and not too long. But I do make it obvious that I've read her profile and like specific things about her. I'm not full on, but slightly flirty. I ask her a couple of questions too.

I like the idea of online dating, because I can search out a girl with a matching personality and interests instead of taking my chances in a bar or nightclub, where the music's too loud even to hear each other speak! However, online dating's definitely a numbers game that I'm losing at the moment.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I can't say I've actually tried it, but I've thought about it before. I have an aunt who loves it and when we look at first messages from guys it's almost less about that message than actually looking at his profile and seeing if he's someone she'd like. I'd keep the first message shorter, it sounds like you have a lot going on in that message so maybe pare it down some and don't ever ask to meet up in real life right off the bat. Otherwise, I'd say ask a girl or friend to look over your profile. It seems odd that you're getting so few responses. Maybe there's something that you're overlooking or is coming across differently than you think.

    • OK. Thanks. Most of the messages I send are shorter than 100 words though.

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