I don't know how to kiss!

Well, me and my girlfriend have been dating a while, but we have never kissed. We both want to, and have actually talked about it, but we are both really shy, and so we have never actually gone for it. Her birthday is coming up, and I asked her what she wanted, and she said, "A kiss from you". Well, I am more than happy to give her that, but I have absolutely no idea how! She is my first girlfriend, and I am her first boyfriend, so we are both painfully inexperienced at everything involving dating. I'm afraid a peck on the lips wouldn't be good enough, but I am afraid of trying anything more and freaking her out. Can anyone give me any advice?

For the record, I am getting her an actual gift for her birthday, but I still plan on kissing her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • That is cute. It's hard to explain how to kiss, I'll give you a few tips: first and foremost DON'T stick your tongue in her mouth, there is nothing sensual about it, it's too grotesque. Use you lips (make sure they are wet), if you want to use your tongue a little, just let it touch her lips while you are kissing her, but softly. Use your arms, caress her hair, get really close to her, turn your head, close you eyes (open eyes can be a little spooky) and take your time. Don't worry too much, there are 35 yo guys who can't kiss. If you want youtube it, there is a clip of the movie great expectations, where the kids kiss by the fountain, they are kids, but it is a great kiss, a couple of modifications and it would be perfect.

    • Thanks for some of the advice. I'm trying to imagine some of the stuff you said, but I'm still having a real hard time putting things together, here. Still kinda clueless, y'know?

      But I will check out that clip you mentioned. Hopefully, a visual aid will help me understand. (I feel kinda dumb for not understanding this stuff)

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What Girls Said 2

  • well - as a first kiss. I think it would be more sensual and easier to take things really slow. I mean - approach her slowly so she knows it's coming: move close to her (full body - not just head), put your hand just under her chin to draw her toward you, move in slowly with your head (this avoids the terrible 'butt' of the heads) till slightly to one side (ealier on so she can see which way she should tilt her head to match), Aim slightly more for the top lip than the bottom. Part your lips slightly, gently brush them against hers and then press down.

    --- wow, it's surprisingly difficult to describe how to kiss!

    I would think it would be safer to avoid tongue at first.

  • I know it can be hard to put it together. Best you can do is youtube best kisses and try to imitate the one you find the best. Practice with your arm, it sounds stupid but you can feel in your own skin what the other person would feel, you'll realize the softer the better, try sticking your tongue forcefully and you'll see it feels bad. Just practice each tip at a time until it flows naturally.


What Guys Said 1

  • I've never given another guy tips on how to kiss, but this is the internet, right? haha I was as scared for my first kiss as you are. I wasn't as worried about not knowing what I'm doing, but more that she'll say "wtf are you doing? that's not kissing!" haha. There are SOOO many different ways to kiss, that unless you bite her lip really hard, this won't happen :)

    A simple way to kiss is by turning your head slightly (so your noses don't hit) and getting her top lip between yours (so that your bottom lip will be between hers), and just softly bring them together, and repeat.

    You'll think of many things that you can do to switch things up... tilt your head to the other side, get her other lip, kiss both lips, use your tongue to massage her lip while kissing. Just make sure your attention doesn't drift because she can notice when your attention isn't on kissing anymore :P

    My biggest problem was with pace... I didn't know if I was going too fast or whatever, so I usually let the girl dictate the speed (whether it's really fast, short kisses, or looooong ones). Of course both of you don't have experience, so play it by ear, and laugh it off, she'll think it's cute!

    Just think, if it's her first kiss, it'll be the best she's ever had! And I'm sure you'll pick it up in no time, and it'll be the best she's ever going to have :) Hope this helps!