Dating a guy with no ambition....

I've been dating this great guy for about 6 weeks. He's sweet and respectful, we have amazing chemistry on all levels, and we're happy, except for one thing..he's a musician, 32 years old, lives with 5 roommates (also musicians) and when we first started dating he was unemployed. He's been employed on and off since then, but he always complains about how much he hates work, wishes he never had to, wishes he could just have tons of money and just play music :P

Anyways, he quit the last job he had because it was making him he is looking for a new job..he has finance experience and management experience but hates desk jobs, and doesn't want too much responsibility...he whines a lot about life! and he has tons of debt...

I do care about him, and wish he just had some aspirations for the future..I really don't want to end up being with him long term, and being the one who has to work to make ends meet, because he wants to play music or be a stay at home dad (he said he wouldn't mind)...Has anyone been in this situation?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, you have to figure out whether or not the amount of money he has is a deal breaker for you. He seems to be a right brain dominant person, usually those people are cut out for more creative activities. He could probably force himself to become more of a run of the mill, conventional person. But would you want him to sacrifice his own hapiness to make you happy? Vice versa, how much does financial stability mean to you? Is it a relationship deal breaker? You may find a find guy who is more of a "desk job", higher income earner, but he'll probably be boring to for you. But which is more important?


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • yes and I wouldn't stand for it

  • Sometimes people can lack motivation because of depression or a imbalance in their brain. He might have mental issues he needs to work, possibly seeking therapy for depression could help.

    • This is very true.

    • This totally makes sense now that you say it...he has had depression in the past and was taking medication. He says that since he's been with me he's happy, and doesn't feel like that anymore..thats another reason I would hate to break up with him, because I know that might spiral him back into that...I could never do that him..I think I just need to motivate him, and just be there for him, I keep telling him that he just needs to sacrifice 2 years and he can have the life he wants..but its tough!

    • getting a job that he enjoys can help pull out of a negative loop. If he doesn't like desk jobs than maybe he can get a job working at a music store. I have bi polar disorder so I end up reading a lot of self help books to teach me to think positive instead of negative.