This girl has a boyfriend. Should I pursue her or not?

Well, I met a girl at a party, got her number. We started talking through text messages, I texted her a day after I got her number and talked with her for a while. The second day she texted me back and we talked for some time too. Third time, I waited a day and then texted her. Now here's the problem, this girl told me that she has a boyfriend, who is in another city altogether and comes to our hometown 2-3 times a year and with whom she's been having problems with and still is. I even made it clear that the reason why I wanted to talk to her after I got her number was because I liked her, and she also told me that that's the same reason why she gave me her number.

Problem is, I don't know what to do here. Should I keep on talking to this girl in hopes that something happens or should I just leave it at that, and if she wants something she'll come to me herself.

Now, I think I should probably ask her out for lunch/dinner, and after the date make it clear to her that I am not the type of guy who likes to be someones back-up plan or cushion unless they want me back, and I won't pursue her as long as she is involved with someone else.

So, I'd really appreciate if I could get some advice on this matter, and some constructive criticism about my approach. THANKS :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Out of respect I think you should interact with her strictly as a friend . Even though he's not there regularly, she obviously is committed to him. She has to come to the decision to either maintain her relationship with him, or break it off. If she does break it off with him, then she's free and you can make your move, but not before you are certain that she has ended the relationship.

    Besides, think about it for a minute. If you pursue her and you enter into a relationship with her, then she is proving that she doesn't value a true commitment. Would you really feel comfortable being with a woman like that knowing she's cheating on you with him so it would only be a matter of time before she cheats on you with someone else. Some more food for thought. If you were in a relationship would you want some guy moving in on your woman when you're away?

    • Spot on mate. I agree with you. But I am not into just being friends with her, I was looking for a fun relationship not a serious one, where I am head over heels for her and am willing to wait. So it's best if I keep my interaction to a bare minimum this way, if she does end up breaking up with him, I can swoop in because I do have the habit of being friend zoned :P

      And you're right, I'd want to beat the living hell out the guy who tried to steal my girlfriend.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I think it is alright to continue talking to her. But just as a friend for now. Let her figure it out with this guy, it sounds like they might break up. She knows you are waiting. But don't be the guy that causes her to cheat.

    • I honestly, don't want to be the guy who does that or neither I am the type who wants to.

      The part which gets to me is, why didn't she tell it to me in the first place?

    • Show All
    • You can totally take that as a good sign. But, like I said, make sure you don't pressure her into breaking up with the other guy. Let it be her choice.

    • I won't pressure her. But let's hope for the best :D

  • No.

    I didn't even need to read past your initial question. The girl has a boyfriend. Don't be the scumbag that tried to break them up.


What Guys Said 1

  • You can talk but if she still has a boyfriend nothing more then friends stuff until that changes