How do I know if my guy is really into me or just afraid of commitment or is it a booty call?

I have been dating him for 4 month now, however its has only been 4 dates where we spend the night together. But we text daily. I initiate all text communication with him. however he always responds, short responses typically in text. He tells me he likes me and wants to see me, but he tells me he is working so much and can only see me occasionally. He is shy, quiet and very kind person. I do not get a player vibe from him at all. When I am with him its amazing and fun, talking all night and constant touching, respectfully, we do have sex but it is not the main focus. He spends a lot of time talking to me and it is never in a sexual manor. He just never initiates contact. and doesn't have much time for me because of work. Is this because of a fear of moving to fast, shyness or am I missing the boat and it is a booty call and nothing more. Outwardly I admit it sounds like he is a player, but in real life he is defiantly to shy and kind to be one. I might be totally missing the boat but I like him and want to keep seeing him. How do I know if he is in to me or not?


Most Helpful Girl

  • One mistake we women sometimes make is thinking that because a guy doesn't talk much, That he's nice. Not always.some guys who hurt you the most can be the silent type so be careful

    His actions are saying he's not very interested in you. He might like you, but he likes you in small doses. He doesn't like you as much as you like him, your interest levels aren't even close.

    He may not have any malicious intent to you, he may very well think you're a nice girl but for whatever reason (which honestly isn't even that important) he only wants your company occasionally.

    He's not into you.guys who are into you like you.guys are capable of showing lots of emotion and interest.if he isn't doing it, find ones who will.

    • hum...Thank you gives me something to think about. ...So if his reason for only seeing me on a day he has off, which is not very often. means the same thing? He did not say "I only want to see you occasionally" He just tells me he doesn't have a day off to see me. He also has two kids at home, he is a manager of a food store. So it is somewhat believable but also ...not.

    • Ppl make time for who they want. Busy people can't spend all day every day of course, but they'll make the effort to touch base with the ones who are important to them. Him not initiating contact is a big tell.

      What makes you reach out to him? Because you like him. Guys are no different, when they are really into you, you'll always see missed texts/calls from them

    • Ya that's what bugs me the most. If he initiated just a little I would stop the worry. when he can see me he does call me and make that effort. ...honestly I text him so often I might be making it too easy to just wait for me to text him.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He's really into you. How he treats you outside of your sexual acts is what matters the most, and he's really showing it.

    • yes, that's what I was thinking. If he was all about the sex then he would act more like that's all it was. but he doesn't. He never try's to dirty talk or be flirty sexually, its so much more tame and respectful. almost shy about it. I get the feeling, I am just intimidating to him. but I am just not sure. I don't think he has dated much since his divorce. I might sound vain but I have been called hot, could that add to his shy behavior?

    • He must be really that shy. Don't worry about it.

What Girls Said 1

  • it's a bootycall

    • I know that is what most people tell me but ...I know guys who are your typical booty call guys and he is so not like them. He doesn't show off, he doesn't try to overly impress me, his profiles on line are not full of female friends, he is very shy, I am very bold and very social. Maybe I intimidate him?

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