How can't he tell I am (potentially) using him?

So, I am going to sound like a bitch...but, I went on a first date with this guy more than a year ago. Mind you, this date was like textbook perfect...I thought he could possibly be my next boyfriend. Anyways, he ended up liking me more than me liking him and he was a bit obsessed and annoying at times. He is a nice guy though and really fun to go to the bars with. Every time we hangout now we end up going to the bar/s and he buys me drinks. He also has offered to give me his old iPhone since I have a crappy oldskool cell phone, but I offered to pay for it. Twice now he has wondered why we don't "date" aka be an item. I like him as a friend, but I feel like I use him for drinks and the phone hasn't he noticed this? Or maybe he has and is just blind to it since he likes me so much?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Let him know this will NEVER go anywhere and its strictly a friendship. Be sure to emphasize on the NEVER part.

    That way if he still insists on showering you with attention and potential gifts in hopes of winning you over, you can wash your hands entirely of guilt because it's his own damn fault for not understanding your "feelings" towards him.

    Just don't lead him on, "love" is blind as they say so even if you just give him "hints" that it's only a friendship his hormones and whatever fantasy he may have will totally overlook them.

    always be upfront, save yourself the trouble and him a potential (albeit self inflicted) heartbreak.

    As said if he still thinks he's got a shot after you let him know, that's his problem then, not yours, no matter how many things he does for you.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Sure he can.

    Thats what women do.


    What do you think this is?


    • Yes, Cinderella, I thought this was Disneyland.

  • He lacks the confidence in himself. He needs your attention,in order to validate his own self worth. I have seen a lot of nice guys like your friend turn into jerks, that hurt women after being used for prolonged periods of time.

    I almost became one of those jerks, until just by chance I got some advice that helped me learn to love myself. Although I will admit, I still have a very hard time respecting most women. Most of the women I meet still use guys like you are doing. That makes it hard for me to trust any women. Unless you want that happening to this guy, you need to treat him with more respect.

    • I guess I like his attention too, but I think I need to let him know we will only ever just be friends.

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