Does he want to break up - dating a guy with Agrophobia?

Hi There,

I have been dating a guy since November and things were going great. He then told me that he suffered with Agrophobia and other mental health problems something I'm willing to be really understanding and want to continue dating. He said he is worried that hell hold me back if things progress between us and doesn't want me to end up caring for him.

We agreed yesterday that we continue dating and see how things go and keep our relationship as it was before and everything was cool.

He then rang me to discuss something he has been helping me with something in my house some DIY work and at the end of the call he said I'm free Sat & Sun maybe we could meet up and I reminded him that I was going to visit a friend for the weekend and that maybe we could meet on the Sunday when I get back. To which he replied oh OK maybe it will be healthy for us to spend some time apart and that I will see him next week.

Should I take this as a warning sign that he wants to stop dating me. Its so confusing as he's said he's never felt like this before about someone.

Any thoughts on this would be great. Thank You


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What Guys Said 1

  • If he ever decides to break up with you, it may not be because he doesn't like you anymore. It sounds like he has some insecurities and is feeling like he will be a burden to you, and he doubts himself. His insecurities sound reasonable. (It would help if you used quotations to signify talking) Would you feel the same way if your positions were reversed? Try to put yourself in his shoes and imagine how bad he must feel about his mental problems. It is okay to stay together as long as his mental health problems won't hurt you, unless you really want to be with him through good times and bad times.

    It would be good if you defined what agrophobia was in the explanation of your question. It seems that agrophobia is an anxiety problem. I don't have agrophobia, but I have had anxiety before. I know that during times of stress/anxiety, when my thoughts aren't clear and everything is jumbled up, then I tend to sound confusing to whoever is reading my email (this happened once when I was writing an email, and later I had to explain to the person that I was sending the email to). Have understanding and be supportive of him, knowing that he must be feeling worse than you. Being supportive can help him feel better about himself. Know that you will occasionally have to deal with being confused about his meaning, but don't read hidden meanings in what he is saying if there are no hidden meanings, because then he will think that you are confusing.

    Imagine if he said that "It will be healthy for us to spend some time apart". Imagine if after he put the phone down, he felt like he made a mistake. What if he thought : "What I said sounded really ambiguous. Did she think that I wanted to break up?" He could also be doubting himself. If he said something that he didn't mean to say, he wouldn't be able t o take it back. Mistakes happen, so if something isn't explicitly said, then you don't need to worry about it too much.


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