Guys what do you look for when dating and what makes you want to keep seeing them?

Just curious (although I know people are different) - I have been dating someone for a few weeks and they seemed so keen and texting all the time then after our last date when he seemed more keen then ever! Suddenly he seems to have withdrawn. So what makes guys want to stay around and what makes you withdraw?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I can give you a personal example of both, as far as withdrawal and connecting with someone.

    I went on a date with this woman I met through work a few months ago. We had some of the same interests, both personally and professionally, and I thought that at least would have been a good foundation. But on our date, she mentioned several exes pretty prominently, and added that a few of them are still in contact with her - as recently as one week prior to our date. She also displayed tendencies that bordered on selfish and narcissistic. For me, those were all giant red flags, and I immediately withdrew from her in my mind. Then, I withdrew completely and she genuinely wanted to know why, and I told her. Let's just say she didn't exactly accept where I was coming from. Next...

    I met a different woman not too long after that, who's showing me with each passing day that she's everything I've wanted in someone else. She's cute, kind, generous, dedicated, funny, supportive and makes me feel so special. I've never felt this way about anyone I've ever come across previously. When I'm with her, I feel like life makes there's no possibility that's not attainable. It's amazing. That's what makes me stay around...


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What Guys Said 2

  • 2 things draw me in when it comes to girls: 1. Looks 2. How assertive and adamant she is in respect to "getting" me

    Many things keep me interested:

    1. She someone who I can make laugh. If I notice she's not into me, I'll try harder. If it doesn't work. I'll try again. If that doesn't work, I'll slowly back off.

    2. I notice she's into me. I'm a long-term relationship-type guy. I can't date a girl who I can't see myself with a year from now.

    3. She's fun to talk to. This is the most important one. A pretty face, nice body, gorgeous eyes, etc., are all nice. But I want to be able to talk to her and connect with her on a deeper level. This one's difficult because it's hard to tell whether or not you can actually connect with someone on that kind of level before you get to know them more.

    4. She doesn't blow me off or make me her "go-to-when-I-want-to" guy. To me, this is a huge turn off. I don't expect to be a priority in her life, not this soon anyways. However, because I prefer long-term relationships, I would prefer to know that she can handle one.

  • When we always keep communication, find her attractive, and she always puts an effort to making the dating works, then there's no way I'll withdraw myself from that woman.


What Girls Said 1

  • It could be that something came up? I would think that if he truly liked you, he would make damn sure no one else scooped you up!

    At least if he likes you and is worthy of you, that is what he should do. If he is just being flaky and trying to play with your emotions, well then he's obviously not worth your time.

    It could also be that unfortunately he lost interest. If that is the case, let it go. There are plenty of other guys out there who would love to be with you!

    I would give it a couple of days. If he hasn't contacted you in that time, then I would contact him. If he ignores you, move on.