If a guy you're dating doesn't call or text much, will you ditch his ass?

For instance before the relationship is made official, if he doesn't call or text much, just for the sake of talking to you, will you see this as a bad sign?

I was going on a few dates with my dream girl I had a crush on for the longest time and I was reluctant to contact her much because ideally wanted her to like me and I feared sounding desperate. Because of these time lapses (and other things) I feel that was the reason she may have lost interest.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Girls need to feel desired by their men as much as guys want to feel needed by their women.

    She must have felt unwanted by you and that's for sure a reason to walk away. See, you might have been reluctant or had your own reasons (like being afraid to seem clingy and desperate) but this isn't a reason for her to stay. I bet you didn't open your heart to her and didn't explain your fears, so how would she know? Any girl would have assumed that you didn't like her much or was after another girl and that she was just an option for you.

    One important sign of interest is regular contact. Any man in love would want to be able to hear his lover's voice, see her all the time and share his time with her. If this isn't happening, she will try to work things out until she feels like there is no hope anymore. Relationship is a two-way street and maybe she felt like she was the only one making effort.

    Your assumption is true. As I said, any girl wants to feel desired by her man. If it isn't happening, then something must be wrong.

    It's a good lesson for you anyway. I'm glad you now understand your mistake. Only a few actually admit their faults. It's great that you do. :)

    • Thanks for hour well written answer, but how often does a girl like to hear from a guy she has agreed to date? I've had girls in the past back out because of how much I obsessed over them.

    • You are welcome. :)

      Just be spontaneous. Text her when you want to. Call her when you want to. You will know if you are overdoing it. You will notice that the girl starts giving you one word answers or replies in a long time or so. Whenever you feel like you're overdoing it, just back off a bit and let her text or call first. Trust me if a girl loves you, she will never complain that you text/call her too much. We love to have our man's attention. :)

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • I would personally see it as a bad sign. How else would I know your thinking of me. Here's a little secret...if the women is into you clingy is the furthest thing from her mind.

    I hated when guys do that it like Ur sending mixed signals. And how would you expect us to behave?, especially if we assume Ur not interested. I for one agree with every one so far. I like to know I'm crossing Ur mind. ..it gives relationships hope. But, if I have to do all the calling and texting an no reciprocating from Ur end..then imma feel like an annoyance to you and I will start to distance myself.. Give her a call if you like her. Trust me...we love it!.

  • My first question is - do you respond when she calls or texts you? If so, that is a step in the right direction. I can tell you from experience that no matter how much a guy likes a girl, if she feels like she's doing all of the work and you aren't responding or trying...she will want to walk away because she feels like you are not interested. My next advice is: call the girl! if you feel uncomfortable calling, text her! Just contact her...even if it is just a short "hey, how are you doing?" or "hope you had a great day", etc...something just to let her know that she crosses your mind from time to time. For myself, I'd like to hear from a guy I agreed to date once a day...but I love talking to the guy I am in to, so I always want to talk to him, constantly...but no, not every girl is that way. Like someone else said, you will know when you over-do it.

    • Yes I respond. Maybe not instantly every time. I have has bad experiences by overdoing it like you said and being clingy and worried all the time.

  • Girls expect to be texted first! YOU should be contacting her. She probably feels more rejected than you do. :) Now, if you contact her and she doesn't pick up her phone or respond to text messages, then that's a whole different story. Lucky girl, she's not getting contacted because you care too much! I wish that was the case with me!

    • Well I texted her after finals were over and our schedules cleared and asked her if she wanted to hang out, and she never responded. There were other issues we had such as me failing to apologize for making a sexual comment. There've been other girls before her who I was reluctant to contact all the time as well. This is probably one of many reasons my dates don't become anything bigger or better.

What Guys Said 1

  • I could have sworn seeing the same question posted by a girl a few days ago. And she was advised by other girls to not text or call the guy first. Double standard?

    • When gals text/call, guys think "Clingy".

      When guys text/call, gals think "He's thinking about me".

      Yeah. Double standard. But, I didn't make the rules.

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