How to get conversation back on track after you've said something wrong

been talking to a guy for over 3 weeks now, and we've hit a friends with benefits, flirty, fun thing going, we just aren't dating yet... anyways, we've hung out 3 times now and every time he's felt the need to whip out his d*** even though he knows I'm not comfortable with that yet (I'm 16) and because he isn't my boyfriend, I feel like the only reason he asks me to hang out is to be his "hook-up" and it was really bothering me so I sent him a text kind of explaining this , I wrote something like: "hey I know you already went to bed but I need to say this. I don't want to be just a hookup to you, I know, or at least I hope you think of me as more the just that, but I don't know. and I don't get why we have to be just friends with benefits. I get there's an age difference thing (he's 18) but I don't see why that matters, you'd only get in trouble if we have sex, and we aren't and which leads me to my next thing, I get that you have a d*** and I turn you on, but you don't have to whip it out every time we hang out, it makes me uncomfortable right now, sorry and obviously you know I like you, so basically I just don't want to get hurt. I don't want to be just another girl you joke about with your friends, I'm just not like that... but now I'm afraid that now I've said something, you'll go find some way hotter girl who doesn't mind just hooking up and completely forget about me, sorry this message was so long but I really needed to say this."

so I sent this and he sent a text saying he didn't realize, and he was sorry and how awful he feels about all this and how he's such an a**hole and how he promises it won't happen again (and he does mean it) and he said I didn't ruin everything and that he still would love to hang out with me (I asked him those questions) so this was 2 days ago... we've talked since then, but conversation isn't like what it was before I sent that text... now it's awkward almost... and I just feel awful and like I messed everything up and I don't know what to do... should I just give it time and him some space? DID I mess everything up? guys, your thoughts? how would you feel after you got this text? ugh, I'm losing my mind. I mea I know I did he right thing as in sticking up for myself, but now I'm concerned we'll never be able to get the fun-ness back into the relationship... any advice?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You didn't really mess anything.

    You voice out your discomfort and he truly understood it.

    Just give him the space and to prevent the awkwardness going on.


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