Post First Date Analysis

Hi All,

First time reader and poster.

OK so here's my question. I met a guy 2 weeks ago on POF. I've only ever talked to guys on there never actually met any. I make my profile photo's realistic, there's nothing worse right?! Anyway I start chatting to this guy, some 15 - 20 short messages exchanged. I mentioned I was really busy with Uni at the moment, he asked if I had time for a drink. I gave a kind of half assed 'sure. why not' kind of answer. He didn't reply for 5 or so days. Then out of the blue got a reply and anyway we arranged for a date the next day.

It was seriously amazing (IMO!). We met, drank wine/beer, talked about everything, had a great connection, until the last possible minute. We got on so well. I said at one stage (while talking about something like child care costs etc) that oh this is a first date faux pas, he replied that he was enjoying it anyway. He was slightly surprised that I paid for every second drink - habit, not on purpose.

Anyway, as I said we talked for about 4 hours. We could have easily used the old work tomorrow morning excuse at any stage... He walked me to my bus. Take note: asked 'so when will I get to see you again' followed by telling me he was busy for the next two weekends (unavoidable commitments). Again, I gave a kind of 'sure thing' sort of answer (In my head I was like 'boo yah'). He put his arm around me and kissed me, pretty passionatly, for about 10 minute - I mean no coming up for air sort of kissing. My bus came along, he said, I'll be in touch.

I left it a day, sent a message to say thank you for the nice time, the hangover and left my number.

The date was Sun, I messaged Mon, today is Thurs and still nothing?

I mean it was a pretty perfect first date (IMO!).

My question is - in your reading of the above is he going to call? I know guys can be odd, but is it likely that he doesn't want a second date, didn't mean to kiss me (maybe after 10 min thought it was terrible?)?

By the way, he's an 8+. I'm a 5.

This is totally girl over analysing. I know. I'm sorry.

Also, just incase you think I'm completely mental, obviously if he does call I will play it cooooool! ;)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, when a guy hangs out with a girl in a bar, he gets buzzed and they kiss, it's common that he just says "oh, that was an interesting experience" and he moves on. There's a chance he's talking to other women now.

    Or he's interested in you and playing it cool, by artificially waiting to call. Because many guys fear if they call too soon, they'll come across as too desperate.

    The best thing you can do right now is pretend he doesn't exist. If he calls in the next few days, awesome. If not, move on.

    • Thank you for the insight.

      I really need to work on the 'I don't care' aspect of things!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • He might be really busy, if I was him id definitely call you back. Don't look too much into it, there are a million reason why he may not have called you. If it's been 2 weeks, then he's probably not into you.

    • 'try not to look too much into it' - you're so right! Thanks!

  • It's really a perfect date.

    The date went well, and he's just genuinely busy.

    • Thanks for replying! I appreciate it.

What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds good to me! He's already told you he's going to be busy for the next couple of weeks, so don't read too much into it - he probably thinks he's already excused himself.

    At the same time, don't spend the next couple of weeks waiting on him to call - go out on another date/ spend time with your friends or whatever, otherwise you'll be super disappointed if he doesn't get in touch again!

    • Thank you - great advice!

      It's so childish and clearly insecure to even be bothered with it!

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