Please help, so confused! Guys, can I get your opinion on multiple dating and how he view me?

I am dating a confident guy even if he is inexperience in love/relationship (went to a religious college and was a shy/introverted/smart guy in high school).

Anyways, the thing is I can't read him because he is stoic. He does nice things for me such as drive me to my car, show up for friendly activities (even if he is not well), and give me advice. I really thought he is a gentlemen/respectful type.

Anyways, he tried pretty hard to convince me to date him because he thinks that "like is a childish" word and that he is interested and likes being around me. He also wanted us to have fun and see where this go. Anyways, I was surprise the date went well (he admit to being shy in hs, gave me opinions, tell me his dreams and future plans, tell me his thought process, and ask about me). It was strange because he is usually stoic so I was surprise he opened up a lot. He even stared in my eye (talk about intimidating) and smiled at me. Anyways, he asked me for a second date. I was sick (from him) after the date so I told him I will let him know. I got a text at one am the next week asking if we could meet the same day? I told him I was still too ill and I asked about him. Anyways, he took 12 hours to answer me and hope I get better soon.

Then I texted him a couple days later telling him I was better and if we can meet next week. He took 24 hours to answer me. The thing is I saw him on the online dating website at night time so I guess I was bump that he has time to chat with other girls but he took a long time to reply to me. He said it sounds nice and even suggest an outdoor event that day. However, I was upset and already decided to accept another friend invitation and I told him that I already have other plans because I didn't hear back sooner. I asked him if next Sunday works. Then I say maybe it is better if he let me know his availability.

He took another 6 hours to reply that he apologized that he got a new phone and couldn't answer back. He then told me his availability (mornings since he works in retail) and ask me if I am available the whole day on one of the day he has off. I already have a lot of plans so I told him I am going to be super busy to catch up because I was sick. I asked him if he was still available for next Sunday. He said he is not available this Sunday but next Sunday works. I haven't response back because I don't know what to say!

I have never been so confuse in my life right now about his actions and why he delayed texting me. I need advice. I want to repay his for the next date and go our separate way. I just don't understand why he can chat up other girls but wait until the next morning to let me know he is available? He is a blunt and straightforward/honest guy. I feel like he is playing with me and that maybe I am his backup plan. What do you think? What should I reply and how should I end it? I doubt he will be hurt because he seems like he is talking to or dating several girls.

I was falling for him so I am kind of hurt.


Most Helpful Girl

  • A lot of guys do that, don't reply for hours, even days. This is standard guy behavior . Replying on time seems too eager (to them maybe), or they are just busy, or he needs to think of a reply. If he's multi dating, then just act cool about it too, don't go in to deep. If he's still exploring the field, then you're not the only one he wants. Go and meet other people too, it doesn't seem like he's committed, and stop asking him out. I guess guys want a more kinda 50/50 of asking out, like sometimes he asks you sometimes you ask him, otherwise it seems too eager from one side.

    Anyway, moral of the story is, don't put your heart on your sleeve for anyone, unless they give some kind of commitment to you (exclusivity). Guys can act wonderful and sweet for one day or several different day/dates, its almost like they are professional actors. It doesn't mean it didn't mean anything at all, but it doesn't mean they are commited to you or like you above all either. At that certain moment or time frame, you are above others (when you're with him) but then when he's alone its back to hunting. I think this is always true until they fall in love with you, until you are something special to them. Sometimes some guys who think one girl is special, still continues to flirt with other girls. I'm not saying everyone does this, but I see my own male friends do this often, so its very common.

    And also like the other person said, men don't take rejection well, even with valid excuses like being ill. I guess they've been rejected too many times by lame excuses where people actually lied to them, they sometimes take it like its some kinda soft rejection when someone makes an excuse not to see them and moves on. And anyway, you want someone who wishes you to get better within like 1-2hrs of texting your ill right :p just forget this guy.

    • You are right, I want a guy who care enough to make sure I am OK within one hour. I will just play it super cool.

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What Guys Said 2

  • He has the impression you don';t really want to see him again since you've told him no several different times...and at the same time, he's chatting with other girls, so he isn't motivated to adapt to your schedule.

    Maybe you two are fated not to ever seriously date!

    • I'd just tell him, :i think you have other priorities now..' and let it go at that..

  • F***... I just read all of that... he's weird/not serious about getting in a relationship with you. That's the bottom line, harsh I know and it sucks that you're hurt but better to accept it now.

    • Thanks for reading all of that. I needs to move on but it sucks.

What Girls Said 0

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