Am I wasting my time?

I like this guy- but I'm not sure what to do. We're dating, and we've slept together.

I knew he dating someone from work a while back, but never slept with her because she was younger than him by 5 years.

He read me part of his diary, and I knew it was about her, but he didn't use names. I looked at his writing, not really to read though, and I saw the name. It jumped out at me because they were texting earlier that day. After reading me part of it (he wants me to read it all one day-I don't know why because it's basically all about this one girl) he said something about how if she read it she'd realize what a tease she was.

Later, I asked him from his past who he liked sleeping with the most, and why. I was mainly interested in why, so I could make him happy. I said he couldn't say me. He said none, because he never slept with the person he really wanted to. So I know he meant her.

I know he has a past, and I know he'll see her if he works with her. But it's the talking a lot, and it seems like he still holds a lot to her. She gives me the impression of being someone who flirts and wants guys to like her and no one else, but doesn't really want them.

There's also a girl he never dated because they didn't want to ruin their friendship because he's best friends with her older brother.

I feel like he has these unspoiled memories with these girls that I can never live up to. I've also been cheated on, and I really don't want to deal with that again. I know he hasn't done anything, but I still worry.

I just don't know how to handle this.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly I would ask him in some way to clarify where you both stand. It sounds a bit like he's trying to keep you as an option if the other girl doesn't ever work out but that would be completely unfair to you if that was the case. If you haven't already done so try to make your feelings clear to him and what you want and see how he reacts. That might give you a good indicator if he's willing to be serious with you or if he is "playing the field" so to speak. I hope this helps give you some insight into your issue and I wish you the best of luck.

    • It's been two years since he dated that girl, and he says they're just friends. But the diary, wanting me to read it, talking a lot. It just feels like he still holds her so high.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Why would you waste your time with someone who is more interested in someone else?

    • The short time we did talk about it (I don't like talking about it) he has said he's over her. But it doesn't feel like it.

    • Show All
    • Only 2 weeks? You barely know him.

    • We've hung out every day- and ya I like him. I think I could care more one day, but it's early. But I see this girl being a problem.

  • Then I think you need to give him the option of you or not. No one deserves to be strung along or to be forced to live in the shadow of another person and if he isn't willing to take your feelings into consideration then I'm sure there is someone out there that would be more than happy to make you their one and not their second option. Just because he (seemingly) still has a thing for her it doesn't make it OK to treat someone else like that. I apologize if that is very blunt.

    • So you think I should find a way to talk to him about it (maybe that alone would help), should I ask him to not talk to her? I don't want to be controlling, but this really bothers me.

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