Emotionally Numb Girlfriend

The girl I've been trying to date for about 3 months said this to me tonight. She isn't ready for a relationship with me and wants to stop having sex and slow things down. Her reasoning, she just got out of a 3 year relationship and hasn't had time to be single, thinks I'm amazing and doesn't want to hurt me and wants to be sure she's in it for all the right reasons before we start dating. Does this add up?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Well from the sound of it, it seems that she still has confusing feelings about her, but don't be alarmed its really natual. If you're the guy that she's seeing directly after she had been with him for so long, then right now she's feeling like she went from him to you super fast without some time for herself inbetween (where she would be able to get over him properly and just spend time with friends before she got back into the dating scene). She's saying she doesn't want to hurt you and wants to make she's in it for the right reasons because she means she wants to make sure you're not just a rebound that's making her feel better about her breakup. She knows she likes you, but she's trying to figure out if that's because she actually has true feelings for you or if you simplly make her feel better because she was down about her ex. So yes, its a good thing to stop having sex and maybe go back a few steps, starting with getting to know each other as friends first then working up the ladder at a slower pace going into dating, then a committed relationship, etc. So don't get down on her for it, just give her some space and let her sort out her feelings. If she really does like you, then you guys can begin dating. If not, then its good that the both of you didn't waste time being with someone who it wasn't in it for the right reasons.

  • Yeah it does.

    I was with a guy for 3.5 years then immediately started dating someone else afterward to get my mind off of leaving him.

    The new guy was fun but I totally was only in it as a temporary thing.

    To ensure relationships are healthy and as she said, you're in it for the right reasons, there needs to be time in between each one to figure out who you are without someone else around.

    I did that after the last guy, now here I am 3 years later happily still single.


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