Two months into a relationship she tells me she dated her current male roommate?

So I've been seeing this awesome girl. We mesh really well, and I've developed strong feelings for her. We have fun every time were with one another.

I met her online and before hand, knew she was living with a male roommate. She owns the house and they split

er mortgage. I learned to look past it and accepted it was platonic. Then, 2 months after we started dating she casually told me that 2 days after he moved in they started dating, and dated for a month. She said it was stressful because he wasn't good with girls at the time because his parents are getting a divorce. Since their breakup, they continue to live together and are good friends.

I should also mention he's online dating as well, and has been seeing a girl.

I'm so confused. I don't know how to see things now. I'm not sure if they had sex, but if they did that would make it way worse. What should I do?


So, they live together. They only "dated" a month and now its platonic. I guess you could assume they've slept together, since when they were dating they lived in the same place. What do you think?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Why would them having sex make it worse? As long as it didn't happen while you were dating, it shouldn't be a problem. If there's something going on between them now, that's a different story, but I'm assuming you can't prove that's going on at this point.

    Honestly, I think you should try to see things the way you have from the start. Their dating doesn't change anything about your circumstances, the only difference is you know about it. I'd say date her like you have been, and keep an eye on the situation. Don't assume she's cheating with him unless she proves otherwise.

    • Well, I would think if they slept together, that would make things 10 times more awkward, after all, he and I are most likely gonna have to be friends. Its just hard for me because my ex fianc? cheated on me with 13 other men. I know I can't write her off because of that, but I'm slightly damaged and this situation has hit me hard.

    • Oh dang, that's a lot of men! I can see why you wouldn't like it now.

      I think the fact the the guy's seeing other girls definitely helps, it means both of them are moving on from the relationship. However, I didn't see anything about you two being an explicit couple. I don't know if that's what you mean by dating, since that can mean a lot of things. If you want to be monogamous, you need to let her know. Don't think she's going to figure it out or that she should just know already.

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What Girls Said 2

  • depends I guess with how comfortable I was with it, and how close they were.

    IF they kiss and hug each other, and are overly affectionate, personally I wouldn't be comfortable.

    But if they were literally just living together because they wouldn't afford any place else, I guess it wouldn't bother me.

    • I don't think they do that anymore. She owns a townhouse but can't afford the mortgage without a roommate, so he responded to a Craigslist add and that's how they met. He moved in and then they dated for a month. They don't anymore, but would you still be uncomfortable with the situation, especially if they slept together.

    • Show All
    • Our relationship isn't sexual, I legitimately care for her, and if they were still affectionate I'd be done with this potential relationship.

    • IT all really depends on your level of comfort, maybe you should ask her to give the guy a 30days notice so you can move in with her?

  • I wouldn't be happy about it.

    • Clearly I'm not, but what would you do?

    • Show All
    • I'm not entirely sure how serious they are, but when I met her, I know they were both online dating and he's gone out with a few girls since I met her.

    • Honestly you probably don't have anything to worry about in that case. Especially because they live together, something would have happened if they were right for each other.

What Guys Said 3

  • Just accept that whatever happened was in the past. So long as syou're sure they aren't still dating, it doesn't make any real difference where he lives,he's just an ex!

    • I suppose you're right, but its just a difficult situation, and definitely awkward. She talks about him a lot though, and I wonder if she still has residual feelings.

    • She's bound to have affection for a roommate,a nd they talk daily..yes it IS very awkward, all the same.

    • So, what would you do? Would you run?

  • I might be a little bit uncomfortable but if I got to know the ex.

    If it was only a month they probably both realized early on it wasn't gonna work and they were mature about it.

    • The reason was because his parents were going through a divorce and he didn't have a good outlook on girls at the time. I met this girl through online dating, knew she had a male roommate, but she didn't tell me they dated until 2 months after we were dating (which I think was pretty low).

    • Well you can understand why she might have been hesitant. Especially with a new relationship. But if she's committing to you you gotta trust her. Get to know the ex and he'll respect what you have.

    • I do. Her situation would turn a lot of guys away initially, including me. I even told her its a good thing she waited to tell me. It just bothers me about how much she talks about him, etc. I hope she's committing to me. Thanks for your help.

  • I would be a little uncomfortable with it to he honest.


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