Is she emotionally insecure or am I her emotional "crutch"?

I dated this chick for a month (we're mid 20s) before we stopped. At one point we even kissed right before we officially stopped dating but she stated she "felt no spark". Since then, we've had our ups and downs but we are talking again and seemingly closer than before. She stated weeks ago we are "just friends" and no longer dating.However, she has mentioned that she has thought about having me sleep over on occasions. Why would a girl be thinking this if she "feels no spark at all"? Not to mention, the last time we went out to the movies we were holding hands for a while before the movie started. A few days ago, we went out and she said she wanted me to stay over. I agreed and stayed with her for the night, during which we held helds quite a bit and we cuddled the entire night (she caressed my face, chest, stomach). Does she have feelings for me? If so, why would she deny and say otherwise? Logically, as a guy, it makes no sense. Since then we have been speaking more and she hugs me firmly when we say good bye. Mind you, the last serious relationship she had was years ago and she was very hurt when she broke up with her ex. Thanks for your thoughts!


Most Helpful Guy

  • She is probably mixed. She doesn't feel attracted to you but she doesn't want to hurt you.

    Honestly, a lot of it has to do with your attitude. If you like her, I highly doubt you would be real forward about it because you're scared. And that's OK, but you gotta face it and get over it or else it will control you forever. She doesn't feel attracted to you because you don't have the guts to show her how you feel. I remember a moment with an ex girlfriend of mine that made ALL the difference. I was being shy like you are, and then one day I was at jamba juice with her and I just walked up to her, put my hands on her hips and leaned in and kissed her. She was really amazed and loved it...

    It might be too late to do that with this chick, but think about this as food for thought.

    • I've already told her on more than one occasions I like her and care about her a lot. We already kissed once but she "felt no spark". Am I better off making another move or going by her pace or just move on?

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    • poor choice of words, I slept over so we just cuddled, spooned, held hands, etc. those sorts of things.

    • ok, then you never really were intimate with this girl. I think you should move on and regain your strength. Right now, its unfortunately a one sided crush. Put some distance between you and do some soul searching.

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