Am I wrong for being annoyed that he didn’t talk to me all day cause he had his kid?

I’ve dated guys with kids before, and I completely understand they put their kid or kids first. I wouldn’t be dating them if they didn’t put their kids first. But my ex had 5 kids, he still fount time to texts me when he had them. Not saying I want him to constnatly text me all day while he’s got em. But a ya know good morning back to the one I sent would be nice . Or a babe i’fve got the kids today. Text ya later. But not with my new guy I get nothing all damn day, yet he finds time to post sh*t on fb that has nothing to do with his kids.Has time to go to the daquire shop. I mean just annoys me that my ex fount the time but my new guy doesn’t even text me all day. I get an i’m so sorry babe. I just feel like he doensn’t know how to balance me , his kids, his friends and fam and work. I understand that’s more than a lot but hey my ex didn’t do too bad. AM I wrong for being annoyed by this? How can I get him to stop this?

WOW than you you guys. Honestly this is one of the first times in the few years i’ve been on this site and have gotten anwsers that really helped me and addressed my question. if I could I would of given everyone BA. so thanks!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ummm...respectfully...

    Its called HAVING a life,and you need to GET a life.I say this because so much weight should not be put on a text message.Its a TEXT message for crying out loud.Some people only use texting to give actual information to another person...and not to just send empty messages that don't REALLY require a conversation.You know,messages like..."Hey","What's up"...oh yeah...and "Good Morning".Even though its a nice gesture,I think you're nagging that he didn't respond.I mean,you DO have an ongoing relationship with him right?You guys have hopefully progressed beyond the point of where something like a text not responded to,that REALLY isn't saying anything of importance,shouldn't really get you that bent out of shape.

    Secondly,can he NOT have a day to himself without having to hear from you?He has his kid,and his own life to tend to.So what if he is on FB,that's him living his life. That's him HAVING a life.If he is busy living his life,you should be busy living yours and not keeping tabs on HIM. And this is where I say,I think you need to GET a life that's separate of him.Why not spend the day reading,with friends,pedicures,get your hair done etc...instead of paying attention to whether or not he is on FB. Part of a healthy relationship is both people being able to have their personal time when needed.

    You might not want to hear this,but you sound terribly clingy and needy.I'm gonna tell you this now...guys don't like that.And if you approach him with this,it comes off as nagging.I can hear it now,"Why didn't you text me back ...blah,blah,blah." And then you will probably end up right back on this site in a few months,asking why your boyfriend dumped you.It would be because you are being clingy over nothing and causing drama where there is none...all because of...a TEXT.Afterall,you will most likely see or speak to him tomorrow right?...Exactly. Give him a chance to miss you,or wonder what YOU are up to.

    Hopefully you are able to see why this is petty.Hopefully you can calm yourself and think rationally.While he is living his life,maybe you can go and live yours...good luck.

    • see normall why idgaf about if we don’t talk for a day cause sh*t happens and I do get busy. But my girlfriends got in my head and got me thinking sh*t. thanks for giving it to me straight. I’m normally more chilled but I don't know definitely not listning to my girls cause the last thing I want to do is be clingy. Now a question for ya cause you seem level headed like I normally am. How come he will text me 5+ times if I don’t respond quick enough. yet acts like it’s nothing if he doesn’t respond for a day?

    • Show All
    • second of the day...and see how you're freaking out right?It works both ways.That just keeps the interest and mystery going in a HEALTHY way. I would suggest you take a page out of the male dating handbook because he GETS it.That's why you may not hear from him in a day...maybe you should do the same.Its not game playing,just having a life.

    • thank you. I’m more of a tough love kinda gal . I feel like you give it to me straight up and we help each other out. You don;t hear my sh*t on repeat like my girls do and I can fix the problem. See normally I go to my guy friends for any relationship advice, cause my girls are all on relationships that both of em are clingy and fight if they don’t talk for an hour . Weird but usually i’m the one who acts more like the guy in the relationship. Guess I just went girlie for a bit lol .

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You're not wrong to feel like that.

    It's just that your ex set your standards that you expect from a guy.


What Girls Said 3

  • Pretty much a lot of what I would of said in my answer has been said by Arwens(:

    Basically the clingy part and that it can push him away.

    I did want to add though I think its important you try your best to stop comparing him to your ex. I know I'm guilty of this myself as many people are, but we need to rationally think and realize an ex and current partner aren't the same people. So its not fair to the current partner to be treated as if they are doing something wrong when they haven't. That is another thing that can push someone away.

    As far as the comment you made I think you need to mention this next time it happens. Have open communication with him so he knows what you think and feel and you know what he thinks and feels. That way there is no guessing and games going on and you both know you can talk to each other about everything. When he gets upset that you don't reply right away apologize but kindly let him know that is how you feel sometimes when he doesn't reply. But again don't make it a big thing.

    • thank you. See I keep trying to remind myself that too cause i’m always doing it an I really don’t mean too. Yea imma try to communicate with him better next time it happens. Only thing that thew me off and made me think. Is if I go an hour or more with no reply to his text/call/skype he messages me like 5+ times till I call back or text him back. BUT he can go a whole day . Not being cling cause I feel like we don’t need to talk every single day but don’t have it so twisted. ya know.

  • You might have to distance yourself from him.if he's not paying you enough attention find someone who will.he'll either change his behavior or you'll find a guy who texts you enough.either way, you'll get what you want

    • see he normally pays me loads of attenchion so i’m cool with like a day off. Just had me thinking cause if I go like an hour without responding to a text/call or Skype even if he knows i’m driving he will send me over 5 messages until I text back or anwser. so I was l bit throw off. Thank you tho!

  • No a lot of kids are annoying.