What exactly is this guy thinking?

This started off a month or so back. I met this guy, we started talking. For the first week, we were texting/calling constantly; he was always the first to text in the morning, and the last text at night before we both sleep. He told me a lot, like how he started liking me ever since the first time he saw me, how he wants me to be his girlfriend, etc. Went out on a couple dates during the first week. Then the second week, he'd only text me a counted number of times throughout the day, but he was still the first to text/call. But then, he goes literally 4 days without a word. But on the 5th night, he texts asking me how I was doing, what I been up to, blah blah. I texted back "I've been great, you? Feels like I haven't heard from you in forever!" He replied saying he was so busy working, saving up for a Vegas trip soon and he missed me a lot. But then the next day, everything went back to normal, talking here and there, he asked me to go over to his house a couple times to chill, I did. I slept over one time, he wanted sex obviously but he said he didn't want to rush it, so we just talked & cuddled to sleep. He was telling me how much he likes me and how he wants to take me out on a real date and ask me to be his girlfriend the right way. He's real cute and sweet.. So that's how the first month went. Recently, it's been me texting him first (he replies most of the time instantly) otherwise I either don't hear from him all day or maybe a few texts after he gets off work. He told me the day before how he wants to find a different job, cause this current one gives him like no time to spend with me, & how he thinks of me more than I think he does. He does work countless hours, everyday, sometimes he gets out at 4pm, sometimes 8pm. So I can understand him being tired but too tired to the extent he can't shoot a text telling me he misses me or something? It's been over a month, and we still aren't officially together. His family knows about me, most of his friends, I know he's not in it for sex, cause I told him since week 2 that if he wanted just sex, I'm okay with a friends with benefits relationship, but he didn't hesitate and said no, that's not what he wants me and him to be.

Just this past week, he'd text me asking if I want to hangout later, and I'd be like sure, and he'd reply saying "ok babe, I'll text you when I get off work". Then he doesn't text, period. Then the next day when I got off work, I texted him and asked what he was doing. He replies saying how he just got off work and asked me how my day went etc. I texted him saying if was a long day and asked if he wanted to chill tmrw, he said sure.
Then the next day, he texts me after he got off work and confirmed with me about hanging out together today and I said I was up for it and he said he had a few errands to run but it wouldn't take too long, but he'll text me when he's done. Few hours went by, no text. So I texted asking if he was done. He replied a half hour later, saying he's going to be heading home soon and I replied telling him to drive safe and to call me when he's home. He never did.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow..well he has some effort. At the same time you have to look at his point of view. He may be afraid of being too clingy and driving you off. Or he may be afraid of running it somehow. It also may be that he truly doesn't want to rush it and is afraid of doing so. Another thing may be that he may not want to get hurt so he's being distant. My advice would be to express your interest more. And make him see that you truly want to be with him. I know you may do this already but show it more so he can jump on ship. Bring the topic up every once in a while but he does have effort and he does care. And if he's young then that may be why he replies so late because young guys tend to think the more distant they are the more the girl will want him. That's just a maturity thing and it applies to some guys, or it could be truly just based on the fact that he's tired and busy and just passes out when home. I hoped I helped. Anything else just comment ^_^

    • Well he just turned 26, I'm guessing that's still considered young. But jut lately he's been making out combos shorter (if we even have one) by saying he's gotta do something or go eat dinner etc. and he'll say that he'd text me after but he never does.

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    • Well yesterday, he texted me in the morning telling me how he's on lunch break and that he's going to be taking his little sister out for dinner later in the evening and he said he'd text me when he going cause he wants me to join them. He never texted, so I texted him when I got home and off work at 9ish. He didn't reply. I haven't heard anything from him today either.

    • He's like really playing hard to get then. His interest is there, just how he shows it is messed up and not quite developed yet. I can see you like him though so maybe stick it through but make it clear to him that you wish you had a boyfriend because your getting lonely, make him warm up to the idea of commitment

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't worry. He's interested in you, he's just busy.


What Girls Said 1

  • Congratulations to you, this man loves you, you can try to date with him.

    • Even by the why he's acting now?